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out and have coffee or something with my best friend Julia.
    But really, the only thing that got me through those long, lonely days were the video calls with my husband, holed up in some hellish, God forsaken place halfway around the world, trying for my sake to make it seem less terrible than it was, but the misery he was experiencing painfully evident on his face and in the way he spoke to me.
    Recently, he'd made a request to me, to send him a rather private video of myself, and I'd been putting it off ever since, feeling that it was wrong on any number of levels. Not morally wrong, but... But, well, it just felt sad. Like it somehow emphasized just how separated the two of us had become.
    And I knew, at any rate, that there was no way I could perform what he asked of me face to face, and that if I ever did manage to do it for him at all, it would have to be via a pre-recorded message that I could be in control of myself.
    But today, I was beginning to feel my longing for his flesh more acutely than ever. I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it, really, but as I stepped through the aisles of the grocery store, I began to feel a heated sense of lust, with every man that I passed somehow reminding me of him, making me burn for a male's touch more acutely than ever.
    I was wholly faithful to the man I loved, of course. I always have been, and I always will be. But it was hard not to let my eyes wander from time to time in his absence, imagining myself taking solace in someone else's arms, being taken by someone and driven to forgetting about the distance from the only person I wanted in my life.
    By the time I got up to the front register, and was checked out (in more ways than one) by a strapping young cashier, I was feeling so hot and flushed that I could feel sweat beginning to form down my neck, adding to my erotically charged discomfort.
    Today, I knew, would be the day I recorded the video for my husband, and sent it to him as the sweetest of surprises.
    Even upon making the decision, there was still a considerable degree of trepidation leading up to the actual unfolding of events before I managed to fully work up my nerve. I had never before produced an, ahem, erotic film, in any way shape or form, and I had to admit I was feeling nervous as hell about the prospect of doing so.
    Once I was back home, I closed all the blinds in our bedroom and closed the door behind me, then went through a variety of outfits, trying to decide which bit of lingerie in my wardrobe would serve best to tempt and to tantalize him as it melted from my flesh.
    Even once I had decided on something that would do the trick, I found myself looking in the mirror, and I didn't really feel pretty. I mean, I was okay. Really, I was quite a beautiful woman, and had always been told so, but my appearance just felt inadequate in my mind for the gravity of this situation, like I needed to be perfect for him if he was to derive an ounce of enjoyment whatsoever out of the performance.
    But of course, I could only work with what the good Lord gave me, and I knew that no matter how long I might have spent adjusting and primping in preparation for the show, at the end of the day it was just going to come down to my own perception of myself, and there wasn't really a hell of a lot I could do to change that.
    Finally, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and rush this thing head on, and after a considerable time of fiddling with my laptop's webcam to arrive at just the right angle, I took a deep breath, and clicked on the record button.
    “Hey, babe... God, I'm... I'm sorry, I'm so nervous... Wow...” I paused for a moment, trying to gain my composure, and then continued, “I uh... I thought maybe I'd make that video you'd asked about a while back... You know? I'm... I'm not exactly sure what you'd like, but... Well, I just thought maybe I'd give you a little taste and see how it goes. I um... I bought this new nightie the other day, by the way... I thought