want.”
“It is,” she said. “And no, I don’t feel like running off.
That’s pretty impractical, Nic. We both have way too much on our plates to be
thinking that way.”
“I know we can’t. Just wondering if you ever wanted
to, that’s all. Just talking, I guess.”
Her eyes strayed back to the screen again. “Well, if that’s
all, I’m sorry, but I really do need to get this done before tomorrow. Maybe
you could ring me from the hotel tomorrow night, once you get in. I’ll be able
to give you my full attention once I have this meeting behind me.”
He considered telling her about Zack, but was overwhelmed
with unaccustomed fatigue at the thought of the explanations, the discussion.
She was right. It was late, she had a meeting tomorrow, and he was leaving in
the morning. This wasn’t the time.
He sat up in bed a half hour later, muted the advert
interrupting Top Gear. Not that he was really watching anyway. He needed
to go to sleep. Twelve hours on the plane tomorrow. He wished Claudia would
come to bed. He would’ve liked the security of her body next to his. Even if
she were still working on that bloody laptop.
He switched the TV off, turned out the bedside lamp. Punched
the pillow and tried to get comfortable. South Africa would be a relief, he
decided. Time to focus on the footy for a bit, get his mind back on its usual
disciplined track. Keep it from straying off to thoughts of Zack. And Emma.
Chapter 5
E mma sat curled at
one end of the couch, pulled the knitted afghan more closely around her,
needing the comfort of its warmth. A single lamp on the end table provided a pool
of light. She was knitting, of course. And, ostensibly, watching Top Gear, absently
observing as a car made its skidding, precarious way around the track to the
accompaniment of the usual caustic commentary.
After Nic had left, she’d closed the door behind him, then
stood for a minute with her forehead pressed against the worn wood. Just when
she thought she had a handle on things, life kept finding a way to throw her
off-balance. And this time, she was afraid it had knocked her completely over
the edge. She just hoped she could keep Zack from going with her.
The worst of it was that she couldn’t really blame her
situation on Nic. It was her own impulsive nature that was really at fault, and
she knew it. Why had she had to meet him when she was at her most vulnerable?
The first day of her non-honeymoon. The day after her non-wedding.
She hadn’t thought about that day in a long time. But seeing
Nic again brought the whole disastrous weekend back. Most women would have
thought themselves unlucky to have been spectacularly dumped on their wedding
day. Only she, Emma thought glumly, could have managed to be left twice in a
single week by two men, each of whom she’d considered the love of her
life. At one point or another, anyway. Just showed what kind of judgment she
had.
“Emma,” her mother had said sharply that morning nearly
seven years earlier, as Lucy finished fixing the wreath in place over Emma’s
blonde-streaked hair. “Pay attention. You’re off someplace else again. I asked
if you were ready for the dress.”
“She’s entitled, Mom,” Lucy said, coming to her younger
sister’s defense as she had so many times in their childhood. “It’s her wedding
day. She’s supposed to be dreamy today.”
Emma barely heard them. She stared into her own eyes in the
mirror above her little dressing table, her face looking unfamiliar under the
coating of mascara, eyeshadow, and foundation she rarely wore. “Are you sure
I’m doing the right thing?” she asked slowly. “When you married Dad, Mom.
Before, I mean. Did you have any . . . any doubts?”
“Of course not,” her mother answered briskly, with the
obvious impatience she so often showed her younger daughter. “Your father and I
had a lot in common. Shared interests and backgrounds, academically and
intellectually. You and David might not be