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ask.”
    John felt his face flush even remembering the incident. Why had he not been able to detect from Jesus’ amused look the gaffe they had committed? Jesus said, “What do you want Me to do for you?”
    John said, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.”
    Jesus’ look had turned to sadness. “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?”
    John had said, “We are able.”
    Jesus motioned to them to sit, and he joined them on the ground. He shook his head slowly and spoke softly. “You will indeed drink the cup that I drink, and with the baptism I am baptized with you will be baptized; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared.”
    The other disciples soon became aware of what John and James had asked, and they cast glares at the brothers and rebuked them. But Jesus called them all together and said, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
    It had not been the first, nor would it be the last time Jesus had taught with paradoxes. Sadly, neither was that the last time John had humiliated himself before Jesus. Not long after, he said, “Master, we saw someone casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow with us.”
    But Jesus said, “Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is on our side.”
    Later, while they were steadily on their way to Jerusalem, a village of the Samaritans did not receive Him. James and John said, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them, just as Elijah did?”
    But He rebuked them. “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.”
    John had borne that shame for days, and yet he learned. Perhaps if he was kind and not contentious with Ignatius, this brother would learn too, even from a mild rebuke.
    “It is one thing to be willing to die for Christ, Ignatius, and yes, the martyrdom of so many of our beloved brethren crowned their lives. But should we not desire even more to present ourselves as living servants?”
    “I know you are correct, rabbi,” Ignatius said. “But our Lord has given me such boldness to speak publicly for His name’s sake and against this world’s system that there is little doubt I will one day push Rome past its breaking point. Caesar Domitian has proven anything but tolerant and moderate, but even if I should outlast him, there is no telling the tenor of those who might follow him. Some say there is a plot afoot to again unify the empire by forcing everyone, even the Jews, to bow before Roman gods.”
    “I pray it never becomes so.”
    “I pray the same, loved one, but I am a realist. And you know, because you taught me to be this way, our message and the way I proclaim it does not change with the winds that blow from Rome. Regardless of the emperor or his degree of tolerance for us infidels, I will, as our dear departed Paul so eloquently put it, preach Christ and Him crucified.”
    John shook his head. “And the Master called my brother and me the Sons of Thunder. What would He call you?”
    “To martyrdom, I hope,” Ignatius said.
    “I too can imagine no greater honor, friend, but I confess I pray He spares you as He has me so the saints may continue to prosper under your wisdom.”
    “The courage is of the Lord, father. Any wisdom is from you.”

     

    T HAT EVENING, Ignatius explained that when Polycarp’s confidential