Read In the Unlikely Event... for Free Online Page A

Divine Vulva’s comely behind. She changed her mind, justifying it by saying that “someone as brilliant as Dr. Robicheck would not be interested in how one dressed, but rather in their mind.”
    “Tell me about them,” Dr. Robicheck had said.
    Chase introduced them and gave her a quick bio on each one. It had not been an easy process coming up with those. Good God, Chase thought, that had been like an act of Parliament.
    “I see,” Dr. Robicheck said.
    “I dressed up for an ‘I see’?” Divine Vulva muttered.
    “Shush,” Commercial Endeavor said, putting her finger to her lips. “Wait.”
    “Chase, is it possible that the Divine Vulva and Commercial Endeavor are products of your rather active imagination—a manifestation of the left and right sides of your brain?”
    Chase sucked in her upper lip and winced. This was going to be très ugly.
    “A manifestation! A fucking manifestation,” Divine Vulva said, leaping up. “Does a manifestation look this good in a little black dress—I think not.” She was screaming now.
    Commercial Endeavor and Chase sat quietly watching her rant. “I didn’t think this coming out thing was a good idea,” Chase said.
    “I know, but Vulva had her heart set on it,” Commercial Endeavor said.
    “It’s hanging around all those lesbians at the Institute that brings it out in her—she gets militant,” Chase said.
    “Muses have a long history in the creative arts,” Dr. Robicheck was saying.
    “What the hell does she know?” Divine Vulva said, stamping her foot down and then flouncing back down on the couch next to Chase.
    “You know, I’ve always thought it best for the human-muse connection to be kept under wraps. People outside the group just don’t get it,” Commercial Endeavor said.
    “And it’s perfectly understandable that when a creative person experiences a spark of invention, she views these instances as divine intervention. As a writer it is entirely plausible to make up two different entities and give them names and personalities,” Dr. Robicheck said, staring blandly at Chase like she was rattling off a grocery list and Chase was acting as scribe.
    “She thinks we’re your fucking imaginary friends,” Divine Vulva said, jumping up in a fury.
    “Can you do something about her?” Chase said, pointing at Divine Vulva.
    Commercial Endeavor looked dubious. “Like what?”
    “Control her,” Chase suggested, glancing in Divine Vulva’s direction. She had her forefinger placed against her lower lip and was studying the artwork on the mocha-colored walls. Some of it looked original and expensive—nice watercolors of Southwestern vistas and adobe houses with ristras.
    “Oh, like I can do that when you can’t. You’re the one in charge here. You should never have given her such free rein when she was a teenager—this is what happens to muses when there is no structure,” Commercial Endeavor said.
    “Great! That’s just what I need right now—a lecture from you on muse control. Thank you.”
    “Now that we have discussed your muses and put them in context, I think we can better understand your psyche. I do find the names you’ve chosen for them interesting.”
    “You didn’t name us. We named ourselves,” Commercial Endeavor hissed.
    “All right. I’ve had enough of this psycho-babble. It’s time for action,” Divine Vulva said, taking a watercolor from the wall. Before Chase could stop her, she hurled it across the room. The painting hit the opposite wall and the protective glass cracked and tinkled to the floor.
    Chase watched as Dr. Robicheck took in this new development. She wrinkled her brow and studied the damage and glanced at Chase. “Did I make one or both of them angry?”
    “Divine Vulva—she’s the more volatile one,” Chase said.
    “I see.”
    “I guess you did,” Divine Vulva said, swinging her neck from side to side and putting her hands on her hips. She resembled a pissy Queen Latifah.
    Chase leapt up and went to