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shoes from my First Communion. They’re white leather with just a little heel like a grownup young lady. I practiced a lot beforehand, and I must say, I didn’t wobble once on my way to the altar. I was so proud of myself.
    Mama and Dedé and Patria and my little nephew Nelson and my little niece Noris came all the way from Ojo de Agua just to watch me make my First Communion. Papa couldn’t come. He is too busy with the cacao harvest.
     
    Wednesday, December 12
    Dear Little Book,
    It is hard to write in you here at school. First, there is hardly any free time except for prayers. Then, when I do take a minute, Daysi and Lidia come up sneaky and grab you. They toss you back and forth while I run after them trying to catch you. Finally, they give you back, giggling the whole time like I’m being silly keeping a diary.
    And you might not know this, Little Book, but I always cry when people laugh at me.
     
    Feast Day of Santa Lucia
    Dear Little Book,
    Tonight, we will have the candle lighting and all our eyes will be blessed on account of Santa Lucia. And guess what? I have been chosen to be Santa Lucia by all the sisters! I’ll get to wear my First Communion dress and shoes all over again and lead the whole school from the dark courtyard into the lit-up chapel.
    I have been practicing, walking up and down the Stations of the Cross with a blessed look on my face, not an easy thing when you are trying to keep your balance. I think saints all lived before high heels were invented.
     
    Saturday, December 15
    Dear Little Book,
    What does it mean that I now really have a soul?
    All I can think of is the picture in our Catechism of a valentine with measles. That is the soul when it commits mortal sins. Venial sins are lighter, like a rash instead of measles. A rash that goes away even without Confession if you say an Act of Contrition.
    I asked Minerva what it means to her, having a soul. We had been talking about Daysi and Lidia and what I should do.
    Minerva says a soul is like a deep longing in you that you can never fill up, but you try. That is why there are stirring poems and brave heroes who die for what is right.
    I have that longing, I guess. Sometimes before a holiday or a birthday party, I feel like I’m going to burst. But Minerva says that’s not exactly what she meant.
     
    Sunday, December 16
    Dear Little Book,
    I don’t know if you realize how advanced I am for my age?
    I think it’s because I have three older sisters, and so I’ve grown up quick. I knew how to read before I even started school! In fact, Sor Asunción put me in fourth, though really, I should have been in third with the other tens.
     
    My penmanship is also very pretty as you will have noticed. I’ve won the writing prize twice, and I would have this week, too, but I decided to leave some i’s undotted. It doesn’t help with the other girls if you are best all the time.
    At first, Mamá didn’t even want me to leave home. But she agreed it made sense for me to come since this is Minerva’s last year at Inmaculada Concepción, and so I would have family here to look after me my first year.
    Don’t tell anyone: I don’t like it here that much. But after we talked Mama into letting me board, I have to pretend. At least, Minerva is here with me even if she sleeps in another hall.
    And you are here with me too, my dear Little Book.
     
    Thursday, December 20
    My dear Little Book,
    Tomorrow, Minerva and I take the train home for the holidays. I can’t wait! My soul is full of longing all right.
    I long to see Papa, whom I haven’t seen in three whole months!
    And my rabbits, Nieve and Coco. I wonder how many new ones I have?
    And Tono and Fela (they work for us) making a fuss over me.
    And my room (I share with Minerva) with the windows you throw open on the garden with its bougainvillea arch like the entrance to a magic kingdom in a storybook.
    And to be called Mate. (We’re not allowed nicknames here. Even Dedé was called Belgica,