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to acknowledge the risks. Fortunately, the wine made that easy. Couldn’t she just act for once, before her self-control regained the upper hand and denied her yet again? How much more sacrifice could life demand? She was thirty years old and she’d had one fulfilling sexual relationship, which had lasted less than a year. “You don’t have to explain or justify your decision. You merely have to make up your mind. Do you want me or not?”
    When he cleared his throat and adjusted himself, she could tell he wasn’t unaffected by the tension crackling between them. “This isn’t about want, for Christ’s sake. If that was the only thing I had to consider, I wouldn’t think twice.”
    “Then stop thinking.”
    “I can’t. Taking off our clothes isn’t the right place to begin a relationship.”
    Why was he saying that again? She’d already told him she didn’t want a relationship. There was no beginning. Only an end. And she’d let him choose what that end would be.
    She gave him a rather tight smile. “I understand. Thanks for fixing my refrigerator.”
    He went stone-still despite all the energy that seemed to be coiled up inside him. “Thanks? That’s it? What about a movie? Bowling? A hike? Boating on the lake? We could drive into Libby if you’re afraid someone here might see us and make an issue of it.”
    Her head suddenly felt as if it weighed a ton; just holding it up became a struggle. She was too weary to continue carrying her usual load, which had been made all the heavier by Pat’s murder. And now she knew there’d be no relief, not even for a few hours. “No, but thank you.”
    “This is crazy,” he said. “You want to sleep with me, but you won’t go out with me? Why? ”
    “I can’t.”
    “That doesn’t make any sense!”
    She pressed her palms to her eyes. “Please…go. I—I should never have asked. I wouldn’t have, except…” Except she had no other alternative. She felt she had to grab hold of someone before she lost all ability to cope. “Never mind. It’s no excuse for my behavior, but…I’m tired.”
    “Listen.” The tension threatened to escape his control, but he managed to bridle it. “You’ve had too much to drink. That ties my hands right there. But…you never know where dinner might go.”
    “I understand,” she said again. “But no, thank you. I had no business asking. I can’t even imagine how it must’ve sounded.”
    “I want to get to know you better first, use a little caution. We’re not eighteen.”
    “Right. It was my mistake. I’m sorry.”
    That she agreed with him only seemed to bother him more. “But it’s still a no.”
    “I’m afraid so.”
    “Fine. Forget it.” With a frustrated scowl, he strode to the door, where he turned back and studied her as if he couldn’t believe they’d reached this impasse.
    She forced herself to look away. “Your daughter’s probably wondering where you are.”
    Cursing, he grabbed his toolbox and left.
    The click of the door echoed in Vivian’s mind as she sat alone, staring at the wine bottle that had come between her and some restraint.
    “Great. I just propositioned my neighbor,” she muttered. “And it was the county sheriff.” What’d gotten into her? Could she really be desperate enough to make such a fool of herself?
    Apparently so. Embarrassment would consume her in the morning. She could already feel a hint of what she had coming, dancing just beyond the fuzziness caused by the alcohol.
    Pouring herself the last of the wine, she decided she could deal with that later. First, she had to contend with the cold emptiness that’d settled into the pit of her stomach.
    Laying her head on her arms, she looked at the clock on the wall, watching the second hand move slowly from dot to dot. One minute… Two…
    She hadn’t even gotten any information out of him about the murder. Shit… Shit, shit, shit…
    Then she remembered the shock on his face when she propositioned him and started