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floor. ‘So, Mike, you see anything you like?’
    ‘Yes, I do, actually.’
    ‘Really? Who is she?’
    ‘I’m not telling.’
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because I don’t want to.’
    ‘What? Oh, come on, man! Who is it?’
    ‘I said, I’m not telling.’
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘Because I don’t want to!’
    ‘That’s bullshit, man! You can’t say you’re interested in someone and then not say who it is. Pals just don’t do that to each other. So, come on, man, who is it?’
    ‘Stan, I find your attempt at emotional blackmail quite offensive. What small chance you had of knowing has completely vamoosed. Bad luck, pal !’
    I look at Mike, thrown by the emotion in his voice. ‘You’re drunk, aren’t you? Where else would this weird-arse shit be coming from?’ He turns his head and gives me his finest look of indifference. Then he resumes his perusal of the dance floor. ‘Oh, I get it. It all makes sense now. It’s Rhonda! You’ve got a thing for Rhonda! Well, shit, man, that’s OK. I completely understand. I mean, who the hell wouldn’t?’
    Just then, I feel a hand on my right shoulder. I turn and find Rhonda herself standing there, looking a little nervous. ‘Hi, Stan.’
    ‘Oh! Hi, Rhonda!’
    ‘Do you mind if I sit here for a while?’
    ‘No. Not at all. I was just…’ I turn back to Mike, only to find that he’s gone.
    ‘It looked like you guys were having a fairly serious conversation. Is Mike all right?’
    ‘Yeah. He’s cool. We were just mucking around.’ I look around but I can’t see him anywhere.
    ‘Should I come back later?’ Rhonda’s beautiful voice hangs in the air and I’m in heaven. Not a Christian Heaven, but my own heaven, where Rhonda and I spend hours and hours discussing our favourite books, music and movies.
    ‘No, no, it’s cool. Take a seat.’ I pat the seat that Mike has just vacated and she slumps herself down next to me. We just sit there for a while; it’s nice.
    Rhonda is the first to speak. ‘Have you been having a good night?’
    ‘Well, yeah, kind of. It’s been a strange one, actually.’
    ‘Really? What’s happened?’ Rhonda turns to me and, once again, I’m flabbergasted by her beauty. What am I going to tell her? Well, Rhonda, I’ve got this major crush on you, which is doing my head in. I want to kiss you but I noticed you have this thing going on with dick-wad Brenton and now my heart is broken and life sucks .
    After some hesitation, I manage to pull myself together and answer her question. ‘Oh, nothing, really. It’s too hard to explain.’
    ‘Fair enough.’ Rhonda turns her head away and I feel like I’ve just missed the opportunity to do something bold, like Mr Rogers suggested. I sit there feeling the weight of my missed opportunity and then Rhonda’s voice lulls me out of my regret.
    ‘Well, I’ve had a bit of a strange night too.’
    ‘Really?’ I turn to her, all ears and all eyes.
    ‘Yeah, I had to put up with Brenton telling me how wonderful he is. He just went on and on about football and how he wants to play the game professionally when he gets older. It was so hard trying not to laugh.’
    ‘Really? Wow, that guy is an inspiration!’ Rhonda playfully punches me in the arm and we both laugh. Then we turn our attention to the dance floor.
    ‘Check out that kid in the blue shirt! He’s sure got the moves.’ Rhonda looks over to where I’m pointing and witnesses the hurricane that is sweeping the dance floor.
    ‘My God, is he for real?’
    ‘I’m afraid so.’
    ‘Wow. Some people really get into it, don’t they?’
    I’m feeling really content. This is one of those moments where having a cigarette would just top things off nicely. Everything appears heightened somehow, like I’ve just popped a really good pill. The strobe light catches blue-toned snapshots of Rhonda’s face. I decide to make conversation just so I can look at her. ‘How’re you finding Middleton?’
    ‘Um … it’s OK. When Mum first told me