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and was sick for two weeks while living in an open lean-to in the middle of winter. I thought I was going to die and reverted to the only thing I understood to prevent myself from freezing to death: mind over matter. I meditated on an inner sun within my solar plexus. I concentrated very hard the way I do when I become a character I’m playing. Just as I believe I’m the character, I believed I possessed a very healing inner sun, an inner intense light. Soon I realized I was perspiring and felt perfectly warm. To this day, whenever I feel very cold, I still do that. It takes practice, but more to the point, it takes a self-responsible attitude and firm belief that I create and control my own reality. Sometimes that reality becomes the reality of what I’ve lived at some other time and place.
    I have developed an understanding that I am part of the web of God and light, and if I just let go and let God, I will tread the path of my own designated destiny. I am responsible for my life and destiny because I signed up for it before I came in. I chose my parents and all my relatives in order to learn some cosmic and spiritual life lessons this time around. With this understanding, I don’t blame any of them for what happened in my childhood or what happens to me as an adult. I find myself always aided by a synchronicity of events and people. If I need to know something and don’t know where to go, I find someone popping up in my life who informs me of that very thing. If I want to find someone but don’t know how to reach them, they often call me out of the blue. If I feel physically sick, I ask my higher self what caused it. And I always get some kind of answer. I’ll take that over a fear-based religion any day.

I’m Over People Who Repeat Themselves (When I Didn’t Want to Hear What They Said in the First Place)
    T his repeating what you just said business is developing into a national sickness. I guess people feel they are not being heard. Or maybe they repeat what they say in order to decide whether they really mean it.
    Just as I am ready to respond to what someone has said, he or she repeats it. And whenever I ask a question, for example: “Can you tell me where I can get a good meal that is organic?” they say, “You want a good meal that is organic?” . . . beat, beat . . . “You want to know a place where you can get a good meal that is organic?”
    I usually answer with something like, “Where did you hear that?”
    I go berserk and I can’t help myself. Is this what they call echolalia? People only seem to want to hear the echo of what they think and say.

I’ll Never Get Over Trying to Understand the Russian Soul
    T he Soviet Union in 1962 was an example of extreme imbalance, which was necessary to get over as soon as possible. The imbalance in Russia was so extreme it could actually seem comic. I was in Romania for the premiere of The Apartment, and on a whim I decided to go, via Intourist, to the Soviet Union. Intourist, the official state travel agency of the USSR, was a joke. It was entirely staffed by the KGB. The people who were assigned to “manage” me and my girlfriend Lori’s trip spied on us, tried to blackmail us, and finally, because we missed a train from Leningrad to Moscow, stole my luggage, leaving me without a passport, clothes, or any travel papers.
    Lori and I got ourselves smuggled into Leningrad University, where the students were having anti-Catholic week. What was funny was they mixed up Catholic values with Nazi German values. I laughed out loud even though I never have been a fan of the Pope and what he stands for. There were posters throughout the university equating Hitler with the Pope. There were official discussions and seminars on said subject, and while I was there, there were also two days and nights of off-the-record conversation in the barracks with black bread and a few bottles of scotch someone else had smuggled in to sustain us.
    The students weren’t really