Read If I Tell for Free Online Page B

me? Which he did on a regular basis. Was I actually crushing on him? As far as I could tell Jackson flirted with every girl who came within ten feet of him. I thought about Grandpa. He would definitely not have approved of a drug dealer. But then I remembered my vow not to listen to the rumors about Jackson and frowned.
    “I want to go to a party,” I announced, interrupting Lacey and Nathan, who thankfully had been too busy arguing to see my lame wave at a boy not even looking at me. “Who will buy me some beer?”
    They both stopped talking and stared at me as if I’d suddenly sprouted fairy wings.
    “What? It’s not like I’ve never been to a party before,” I said. The anger in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t go away. I intended to drown it.
    “No,” Lacey said. “But you’ve never demanded to go to one in that voice before. You sound totally grouchy.”
    “And you’re not usually the beer type, kid,” Nathan added.
    “More like Dr Pepper,” Lacey said.
    “Well, things change,” I said. “I’m bored. Bored with coffee. Bored with school. Bored with everything.”
    I didn’t add that I was bored with Grandma’s nonstop chatter about the new baby. Bored with Lacey talking about herself. Bored with Ashley training for swim meets with no time for me outside school.
    Lacey’s eyebrows arched. “You sure everything’s okay?”
    “Fine. I just want to have some fun for once. Is that so wrong?”
    “Can’t blame a girl for wanting to have fun,” Nathan said.
    Lacey twirled hair around her finger. “That was your mom on the phone earlier? How’s she doing? With Simon and the baby and stuff.”
    “Who cares?” I didn’t meet her eyes. I didn’t want to talk about them. Especially not with her.
    Nathan grinned. “Marnie’s having a bash tonight. We can go there to party.”
    I pushed back on my chair and jumped to my feet. “Good. Will you buy me some beer?” I pulled a crumpled twenty from the front pocket of my jeans.
    Nathan grabbed the money. “I’ll buy two cases if that’s what you want.” He untangled himself from his chair and slung an arm across my shoulder.
    “Nathan, she’s just a kid,” Lacey said.
    “Thanks, Nathan.” I didn’t squirm away from him like I normally did. I glared at Lacey. “I already have a mother, you know. In fact, I have two.”
    “I’m just sayin’.” Lacey held up her hands. “Whatever. It’s your hangover.”
    “Like you said, she’s young. Hangovers don’t last. Come on.” Nathan led me toward the exit.
    I glanced back at Jackson. The blond he’d been smiling at had vanished, but he was talking to someone else. I put a little wiggle in my walk. As if I knew what sexy even looked like.
    ***
    “Whoa. Slow down a little.” Lacey chugged the remains of a beer and squished up beside me on an old brown corduroy couch in Marnie’s living room. I leaned over to the cooler in front of us and grabbed another bottle, twisting off the cap and pitching it on the carpet like a normal irresponsible party person. I felt pleasantly dizzy.
    I giggled, an unnatural noise. Even my stomach loosened, like I’d relaxed a fist inside. More likely, I’d drowned it. Why hadn’t I done this before? Drinking made the party much more interesting. For once I’d become one of the fuzzy, happy ones.
    Usually I hung back and observed the older kids crammed into Marnie’s small house. Stoners hung in the kitchen and drinkers in the living room, while couples hooked up upstairs. When Ashley was there, she’d hang out with me and we’d talk about music or I’d play guitar, but for some reason she wasn’t at this party. Just as well.
    “Hey, good looking.” Nathan slid onto the couch, pressing his leg suggestively up against mine. He always did that to tease me and I always moved away, but this time I left my leg where it was, feeling the warmth. The connection.
    He put his hand on my knee and squeezed. I reached over and squeezed his knee back,