Read Birthday Wishes - The List: Book 1 for Free Online

in my desk drawer. I had no interest in hearing from Ricky again.
    "Done?" Rachel didn't wait long enough for me to get distracted. "Answer my question."
    "I don't know, Rach." I shrugged. "I think so." But I sounded uncertain.
    "Then why do it?"
    "Seriously? My hymen was going to reseal itself if I didn't do something . Gah." Even after a positively brain melting good time with Luca on Saturday night, I still felt that pressing I'm never going to get laid again desperation. I wondered how many times I'd have to have sex in order to convince myself.
    "You couldn't just date like the rest of us?"
    I rolled my eyes again. Of course she didn't understand. "I could, but that didn't go so well for me last time, did it?" Last time I dated ended in a too-long, unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce. I liked my husband better as an ex than as a current.
    "You don't have to marry every man you date." She rolled her eyes right back at me.
    "No, but I really don't want to go through any of the dating crap right now." I just wanted to get laid, which could totally happen as part of dating, but it would be awkward as fuck to say, "Hey, I really want to fuck you. Are you disease free?" or "How do you feel about me tying you up then sucking your cock down my throat?" Somehow that all came out much easier over email. It was much easier to hammer out the intimate details of sex without the perma-blush that resulted every time I thought about the things I wanted to do, let alone said them aloud.
    "That dating crap? What does that even mean?"
    "Why do you even care? You said yourself that Luca is dream worthy, so why are you worried about the details? What difference does it make how we met?"
    Her eyes narrowed. "Tell me something. If Ricky hadn't invited him to the party, would you have ever told me about him?"
    I shrugged. "Probably not."
    "That's why I care." She threw her arms up. Apparently she was finished with being calm and wanted to revisit theatrical. "I'm your best friend . This is the kind of thing you should tell me about."
    "Enough. Rachel, I love you. But this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. I shouldn't have to justify my decision."
    "I don't want you to justify it. I just want to know that you're okay."
    I understood her point, I did, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with this. Discussing it out loud brought all the reasons I thought it was a bad idea screaming to the surface. In order for this arrangement to work, I had to be goal focused. The whole point was to have lots and lots of orgasms. As long as I kept that in mind, I was fine.
    "I get it,” I said. “And like I said before, I'm fine. I had some truly amazing sex on Saturday and that was the whole point." I couldn't stop myself from smiling. My only hope was that I didn't look quite as goofy as I felt.
    "That good, huh?"
    "Amazing." In the moment, I would have easily said it was the best sex of my life, hands down. With the distance of a couple of days, I was more reserved. My brain was functioning now, so it made sense that I could compare more objectively. Still, with the clarity of non-gelatinous thought processes, I couldn't come up with another time when I'd come so hard for so long and certainly not that many times. I took a deep breath. "Luca is really, really good."
    "So, you're going to see him again." And she circled back to her original question. She was tenacious like a damned Jack Russell. She yapped like crazy, but refused to let go of a scent once she got hold of it.
    "God, I hope so." I felt instantly vulnerable as soon as I said it aloud. Conversation over. I couldn't go any further. "Can I work now?" I opened my laptop without waiting for her answer.
    "For now. but I reserve the right to revisit this subject in the future."
    "Fine." I clicked open my email. I was too distracted to focus on something as thick as catering agreements . Contracts and discombobulation were a bad combination. Email was a safe alternative.
    Rather than heading to