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in the kitchen. Aidan switched to beer while I steadily worked my way through the Jello, stacking the empty cups inside of each other, a neat little tower of nesting cups. Lauren Marley arrived with a couple of her friends and she stopped to talk on her way to the keg. A dark-haired guy passed by and I did a double-take.
    “ What is he doing here?” I pointed at Trevor Danielson, the TA from my English class.
    “ Trevor?” Aidan looked at me. “He's friends with Scotty's brother. He sometimes hangs out with us. Why?”
    “ I dunno. Just wondered.” I'd never been to a party with a teacher before, especially a party where beer flowed like a river from a gigantic keg in the kitchen. He wasn't exactly a teacher, I reminded myself. Still, I pushed my stack of empty cups just a little further away, distancing myself from them.
    Aidan looked at the drunken structure on the counter. “Have you had all of those?”
    My tongue felt thick and loose, as though it was trying to separate from my body. “Uh-huh.”
    “ Holy shit.” He laughed. “You're gonna be drunk off your ass.”
    He stood me up. “Come on, let's at least get some food in you.”
    I held my arms out for balance as I navigated my way toward the living room. Someone had ordered pizza and the boxes were stacked on the coffee table. Aidan grabbed a slice of pepperoni and handed it to me.
    I shook my head. “I'm a vegetarian.”
    He rolled his eyes. He picked off the pieces of pepperoni and popped them into his mouth. “Here,” he said, thrusting the stripped slice at me.
    I leaned against the arm of the couch and chewed slowly, concentrating on making my mouth move. I watched the people around me as I ate, offering smiles to anyone who looked my direction. They smiled back. I felt happy. Liked. A part of the party, part of the group. I felt good.
    I turned toward Aidan and the room shifted, veering wildly. His hand shot out and he steadied me.
    I leaned against him. “Whoa.”
    He chuckled. “Whoa is right. I think you need to sit down for a bit. Maybe lay down.”
    He led me from the living room, gripping my elbow with one hand, his other arm around my waist to steady me. Past the throngs of people crowding around the near-empty pizza boxes, past the entrance to the kitchen, maneuvering me to the carpeted stairs.
    “Where are we going?” I concentrated on lifting my left foot. Then my right. Then left again.
    “ Away from everyone for a while.” He tried the first door at the top of the stairs, opening it and peering inside. “Oops. Sorry.”
    A bedroom at the end of the hall was empty and he guided me inside, helping me to the bed.
    “Sit,” he instructed.
    I did. The room whirled around me, as if I was spinning on one of those metal merry-go-rounds at a playground, twirling around and around. I clutched the comforter and closed my eyes but the room still spun. I sank back against the pillows, trying to still the dizziness. Aidan stretched out next to me.
    “I'm so dizzy,” I whispered.
    “ You'll be fine,” he said, stroking my hair. “We'll rest here a minute.” He moved closer and I felt the warmth of his body against mine before I felt his mouth on my neck. He trailed soft kisses up to my ear and then down, his tongue flicking lightly against my skin.
    I inched closer to him. “That feels nice,” I murmured.
    His lips were hot, like fire on my clammy skin.
    His hands stroked my arms, running down my sides. “I could make you feel so good, Megan.”
    His fingers crept up the inside of my shirt and I kissed him as he touched me. I didn't feel altogether there, in the moment. Not then, and not later when his mouth latched on to my breast and when his hands nimbly slid down my underwear. I kept my eyes closed, swallowing back the dizziness as he kissed me, over and over. He was solid, an anchor to grip as the waves rolled inside of me and I clutched him to me, holding him tight. Minutes passed and still he kissed me, his mouth and hands