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My name is Tobias and I’m a perfect Aryan. I came to Germany to reconnect with my roots, and I’d love to have one of those Club 88 hats that they have in their club. They like what I say, I can see it in their eyes. I choose the hat in which I look the most stupid, practically retarded, and put it on my head.
    So good to get in touch with your roots!
    Sieg Heil
, my friends. Wish our Leader, Adolf Hitler, were here to see me.
    Frank takes a liking to me. This club is also a drinking joint. There are many sweet drinks here, not just beer. This is not the Rote Flora. Here they love sweet. Would I like the blue liquor? Very good, Frank says. Anything I want, on the house. As much as I want. Club 88 welcomes its lost child. Tobias. Me.
    Frank, let me tell you, is friendly, sympathetic, always smiling, and a very welcoming man. I have no idea why the kids from the extremely dirty Rote Flora want to kill him. He is cleaner than God. And, as he talks to me, he keeps on cleaning every dirty spot he finds. Maybe that’s why the leftists hate him and his friends.
    Would I like an energy drink? Everything for the guest!
    Most of my life, how sad, I lived outside the Fatherland. I missed much, obviously. Frank would be very glad to fill in the holes and gaps in my cultural upbringing. Would I like to know? Would I like to acquire knowledge?
    Please teach me, my friend!
    Frank takes his new task seriously. He brings the books in.
    Here is a book about Jews. With pictures, illustrations, tables, and other scholarly stuff. This is a textbook, as they call it in America. This is not fiction. This is reality.
    Here, he shows me, is the image of the Jewish Devil.
Jüdischen Teufel
. It’s a stamp.
    He explains: “The Jews, who control the world, stamp everything that belongs to them with this stamp. When you see this stamp, you know you are under total control of the Jews.”
    Does The Stamp remind me of anything? he asks.
    Not really.
    He takes out his German ID card, turns it to the back, and then turns it upside down. He puts the image next to the one in his book, titled, if I’m not mistaken,
Das Deutschland Protokoll
, and shows me the similarities between the image of the Jewish Devil and the image on the German ID card. Practically the same.
    Could he interpret the image for me?
    Gladly.
    Two horns on top. Jews have horns, naturally. In middle-bottom there is a long nose, another Jewish natural feature, as is known worldwide.
    Yes. The Jew controls Germany. And he also controls America, in case I wondered.
    Let’s leave the Jews for a moment. What does Frank think of Obama?
    “Obama is a Nigger and he should go to Africa.”
    Frank comes back to the Jews, his real passion:
    “Six million Jews did not die in World War II. It takes seventy-two minutes to gas and burn one person. How could you burn so many so fast? What I say now, if the police heard me, would cost me six years in prison.”

    OK, let’s talk about Jews. What should we do with the Jews of today?
    “Kill them!”
    Turks are bad. Idiots. Or, as he calls them, “dumb Jews.” Turks have no patience, can’t calculate ahead of time. Not so the Jews. The Jews, who are the worst of creatures, they can stick it to you five years later. Just wait and see. “The Jews are the worst. There are millions of Jews in Germany.”
    How many millions?
    “At least one million.”
    Let’s hope, says Frank, that “the Nigger American president takes care of the Jews of Israel, who steal the water from the Palestinians, and stops those Jews once and for all.”
    Frank is well versed in politics. Knows everything. He tells me: “The German chancellor must always visit America in order to submit to the Allies. Still. This is a shame for Germany!”
    What does he think of, let’s say, Helmut Schmidt?
    “He is good.”
    Is he a Jew?
    “No.”
    I heard that he is.
    “Really?
Scheiße
!” (Shit!)
    The German Reich still exists, he instructs me, though it’s not functioning