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and getting back in shape after childbirth.
    Because the biggest challenge to this exercise routine is remembering to do it, it helps to find some regular occurrence that’s your “cue” to Kegel—ideally, something you do most days like wait for the subway, ride an elevator, or the most classic cueof all, sit in the car at a red light. (We think it would be a helpful reminder if the word “KEGEL!” were imprinted on every red light as a reminder.)
FUN FACT: If humans had tails, you'd use your PC muscles, the same ones you use to do Kegel exercises, to wag your tail.
I do Kegels sometimes, when I remember to do them or when I’m nervous and fidgety and I’m trying to avoid cracking my knuckles.
multiorgasmic men?
WOMEN AREN’T THE only ones with the capacity to be multiorgasmic: Men can be, too. The capability comes naturally to some preadolescent boys and young adults, but it’s also possible for other guys to learn–with a considerable amount of work. The main part of the male workout involves doing lots and lots of Kegel exercises, described on pages 26–28. A man likely already has enough strength in his PC muscle to stop himself from peeing midstream. For most men, orgasm and ejaculation happen at the same time, but Kegels can help him build up enough strength in that muscle to be able to experience orgasm without ejaculation. After a steady Kegel workout for at least several months, when he’s at the point when he’s about to ejaculate, he may be able to clamp down on the PC muscle and have an orgasm (the intense, pleasurable sensations) while preventing himself from ejaculating. Because he hasn’t ejaculated, he can do this over and over again to be multiorgasmic. The books The Multi-Orgasmic Man and Any Man Can address in more detail how to use this and other techniques to become multiorgasmic as a man.
    fantasy: imagination isn’t just for kids
    OUR SURVEY FOUND that 63 percent of women fantasize at least some of the time while they’re being sexual with a partner, and 93 percent do so whenthey’re masturbating, numbers that closely match other studies. Fantasizing is tapping into the power of whatever images or stories turn you on and help you reach those highest levels of arousal that launch orgasms. There’s nothing shameful about allowing yourself to put these images to use: Most women do! Because the mind is the biggest sex organ, as you’ve probably heard, it’s perfectly logical that you’d want to use yours to help you come. The movies you watch in your mind are private. No one ever has to know what they are unless you choose to share them.
Sexual fantasies are what keeps me in the mood most of the time. It’s so easy for me to stop being aroused. If I wish to continue, it’s almost pivotal for me to fantasize.
The most important thing I learned that helped me have orgasms was to be unashamed of my fantasies, even if they are sometimes socially taboo, and to be honest about sharing them with my partner. That freed my mind up quite a bit to really enjoy coming.
Fantasies don’t help me. I’ve tried to use this technique, but it doesn’t do it for me. I think I rely more on physical stimulation on my entire body than on images in my head or what I’m looking at in reality.
    As a young teenager, Dorian had heard about fantasizing and, lying in bed one night, decided she’d try it. She imagined a huge bed, and spent some time mentally decorating the bedroom, imagining the silky sheets and luscious comforter. She pictured herself naked in the bed. (That’s how sex happens, right?) Then, she thought, I need a man. Searching her memory-banks for a sexy image of a man, what came to mind was a character who resembled all the princes in Disney movies: broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, sparkling smile. She imagined her personal Disney prince walking over to the bed, and then the fantasy stalled. She didn’t know what she wanted to have happen next, and she wasn’t feeling turned on at all. Of