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thrust her finger toward us. “I know you better watch your mouth, little girl. I’m still your mama.”
    “Mothers don’t leave their kids at gas stations in strange places in the middle of the night!” Shondella stormed off and went and leaned against a gas pump.
    I thought Rose would go after her and beat her real good. I just knew our mother wouldn’t tolerate Shondella talking to her like that.
    I loosened Jasmine’s grip on my hair. “Mama, you not gon’ leave us here, huh?”
    Rose lit another cigarette. “Sugar Smack, you just too young to understand.” She inhaled deeply on the cigarette, then exhaled, blowing the smoke in little rings into the air. I used to think it was cool to see my mama do that. But at that moment, I wasn’t impressed. “Shondella just mad right now,” Rose continued. “One day you will understand why I’m doing this.”
    I started to cry, which caused Jasmine to cry as well. “No, Mama. Please don’t leave us!”
    Rose took another long drag on her cigarette. “I called your grandma. She said she wouldn’t come, but she will. I know she will.” Rose started the car up and my tears started coming faster. I threw myself on her car door, almost dropping Jasmine. “Mama, please, don’t leave us here!”
    Shondella had appeared beside me. She shifted Justin in her arms and rubbed Jasmine’s hair with her free hand. “Stop all that damn crying. And stop begging her. Let her go.”
    “You’re just being mean again!” I screamed at Shondella, then turned back to Rose. “Mama, we’ll be good. We promise. Shondella, tell her. Tell her you’ll stop being bad!”
    “Stupid, she would rather be with that old, bald-headed, fat-ass boyfriend of hers than take care of her own kids, so forget her,” Shondella said.
    I was speechless. Shondella was about to get it for sure now. No way could Mama let her get away with saying something like that, let alone curse.
    I felt the car move and looked as Rose put the car in drive. A tear was trickling down her cheek. “Nooo! Mama, she didn’t mean it. Shondella, tell her you didn’t mean it!”
    “I meant every word.” Shondella’s nostrils were flared. A defiant look was across her face and she was desperately trying to fight back tears. Justin and Jasmine had both started crying as well. The silence of the night had been pierced by the sounds of my sister cursing, my baby brother and sister wailing, and my sobbing. Then, finally, there was the sound of tires as they screeched out into the street.

    That was the last time I’d see my mother for seven years. She and Sam moved from Lake Charles, and nobody, including Mama Tee, had any idea where they went. The sad part was Sam had not only been my daddy’s best friend, he was the man who had taken his life. He had shot my daddy to death in a game of craps and got off because he convinced a judge it was self-defense.
    Even still, I tried reaching out to Rose when I was twelve, after we found her secretly living in Camden, Arkansas, another small town just two hours away. Somebody was visiting relatives up there, spotted Rose, and told Mama Tee. I only found out about it because I overheard Mama Tee talking to Auntie Mel about it.
    I was excited when I found out where Rose was. I really put forth an effort to establish a relationship with her, writing her letters after I discovered her address written down in Mama Tee’s phone book. None of my letters was ever answered. I even hitchhiked one time to her home, only to find out she’d moved again. Then on top of that, Mama Tee beat me silly for leaving Sweet Poke.
    The night Rose dropped us off, my grandmother did show up. She came shortly after Rose drove off. She must have called Rose everything but a child of God. We had sat in silence as we made our way back to Mama Tee’s house. We had only visited Mama Tee once, when I was about four. She and Rose didn’t get along, and Rose hated Sweet Poke. So we didn’t even know what to