I Could Love You

Read I Could Love You for Free Online

Book: Read I Could Love You for Free Online
Authors: William Nicholson
‘What drivel you talk, Laura.’
    ‘I didn’t know what else to say.’
    ‘She was looking for a mug to say something moronic and you obliged. That’s what they do on TV today. Make fools of people.’
    Laura doesn’t disagree aloud, but inside herself she thinks Diana is wrong. In the past she would have said so and they would have bickered, perhaps even fought. But Diana is muted, her scornful dismissal of Laura’s point of view has no animus to it. She speaks out of long habit, almost unaware of what she’s saying.
    Diana gets an espresso, Laura an Earl Grey. They sit by the window looking out onto the concrete walkway and the blank back of the Queen Elizabeth Hall.
    ‘I’m worried about Roddy,’ says Diana.
    So now at last they have come to it, the real purpose of their meeting. Diana has never in all her life directly asked Laura for help, or admitted that she needs it. But there have been times when she’s thrown out a casual remark at some inappropriate moment, using words that can be disowned later when the crisis is past.
    The little crisis is about her husband Roddy.
    ‘I think he’s depressed,’ she says. ‘Does Henry get depressed?’
    ‘Yes, sometimes.’
    ‘Does he stop talking?’
    ‘Sometimes.’
    ‘What do you do when he does that?’
    ‘Nothing, really. I don’t mind if he needs time alone.’
    ‘Not alone. Just not talking.’
    ‘You mean, like, at dinner?’
    ‘At dinner. At night. Over breakfast. All the time.’
    Diana takes care not to meet her eyes. Laura is shocked.
    ‘Roddy’s not talking all the time?’
    ‘Well, he says the odd word. But that’s about it.’
    ‘Why? Have you asked him?’
    ‘Of course I’ve asked him. He doesn’t answer.’
    ‘What, he just sits there?’
    ‘Well, he might laugh, or give the odd grunt.’
    Laura wants to laugh. The image is so comical, Roddy gazing back at Diana and parrying her every spoken thrust with silence. But Diana’s eyes reveal real panic. She’s blinking rapidly, pressing her lips tight together. Nothing to laugh at here.
    ‘How long’s this been going on?’
    ‘Almost a week now. I don’t really know what to do. I’m sure it’s something to do with what’s happening at his work. It’s an absolute nightmare, this crash. All the banks have lost fortunes. I suppose he’s having some sort of breakdown. I’ve asked him to see a doctor, but he … Well, he won’t talk about it.’
    ‘Is he like this with everyone?’
    ‘He must talk at work. But at home he won’t even answer the phone. The thing is, Laura, he doesn’t look unhappy. I mean, he eats and sleeps and everything, just like before. And he has this little smile on his face, like – oh God, it’s a horrible smile. I hate it.’
    ‘Like he’s gone somewhere else in his head?’
    ‘Yes.’ Diana looks at Laura in surprise. ‘How did you know that?’
    ‘I didn’t.’
    ‘The thing is, he might talk to you.’
    ‘Me?’
    ‘Roddy’s always had a soft spot for you.’ The words are coming out faster now. ‘I wondered if you’d come up one evening and talk to him, try to find out what’s going on. He just might tell you. I can’t help worrying that he’s been sacked and hasn’t dared to tell me. You know, sitting with his briefcase in the park all day. But why wouldn’t he tell me? I always thought we were rather good as a team. It’s not as if all I care about is the money.’
    Diana has never come as close as this to admitting weakness. Laura is touched.
    ‘Of course I’ll come. I expect I’ll be no use, but I’ll give it a try.’
    ‘Not on a special visit to talk to Roddy, of course. He’d smell a rat at once. But you and Henry could come to dinner. Then after dinner I’ll work it so you have some time with Roddy alone.’
    ‘Yes, all right. If the dates work for Henry.’
    ‘It’s got to be tomorrow night, really.’
    ‘Tomorrow? That may be a problem.’
    Diana reaches out one hand and clasps Laura’s

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