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the back of it. He spoke for the first time and offered me a shower instead of the normal body washinabasininthecorner.Iknewthistechniquetoo–makemethinktheywerestartingtobelieve me,encouragemetotrustthem–butbythisstageIwasprettywellpastcaringaboutthepsychology ofitall.LikeFreudmighthavesaid:sometimesashower ’sstillashower.
    The handler unlocked a door into an adjoining bathroom and left. It was a white room, clinical, ring bolts in the ceiling and walls that hinted at a far darker purpose, but I didn’t care. I shaved, undressedandletthewaterflooddown.AsIwasgettingdry,Icaughtsightofmyselfnakedinafull-lengthmirrorandstopped–itwasstrange,Ihadn’treallylookedatmyselfforalongtime.
    I’d lost about twenty pounds in the three weeks or whatever it was I had been at the ranch and I couldn’t remember ever seeing my face look more haggard. It made me appear a lot older, and I staredatitforatime,asifitwereawindowintothefuture.Iwasn’tugly:Iwastallandmyhairwas saltedwithblondthankstotheEuropeansummer.
    Withtheextrapoundsstrippedoffmywaistandbuttthankstotheinvestigation,Iwasingoodshape
    –notwiththesix-pack-abvanityofamoviestarbutwiththefitnessthatcamefrompractisingforty minutes of Krav Maga every day. An Israeli system of self-defence it is, according to people who know, the most highly regarded form of unarmed combat among New York drug dealers north of 140thStreet.Ialwaysfiguredifitwasgoodenoughfortheprofessionals,itwasgoodenoughforme.
    Oneday,severalyearsinthefuture–aloneanddesperate–itwouldsavemylife.
    AsIstoodclosetothemirror,takinginventoryofthemanIsawbeforeme,wonderingifIreally
    liked him that much, it occurred to me I might not be the only one watching. Wonderbra and her friendswereprobablyontheothersideoftheglass,conductingtheirownappraisal.Imaynotbeon topofanyone’slistformaleleadin DeepThroatII ,butIdidn’thaveanythingtobeashamedof.No,it wasn’tthatwhichmademeangry–itwastheintrusionintoeverypartofmylife,theendlesssearch forevidencethatdidnotexist,thesoul-destroyingconvictionthatnobodycoulddosomethingsimply becausetheythoughtitwasright.
    KravMagainstructorswilltellyouthatthemistakemostpeoplemakewhentheyfightistopunch
    someone’s head really hard. The first thing you break is your knuckles. For that reason, a real professionalclencheshisorherfistandusesthesideofitlikeahammerhittingananvil.
    Ablowlikethatfromareasonablyfitpersonwilldeliver–accordingtotheinstructors–overfour newtonsofforceatthepointofimpact.Youcanimaginewhatthatdoestosomeone’sface.Ortoa
    mirror.Itsplitintopiecesandshatteredonthefloor.Themostsurprisingthingwasthewallbehind–
    itwasbare.Notwo-wayglass,nothing.Istaredatit,wonderingifIwastheonethatwascracking.
    Showeredandshaved,Ireturnedtothebedroomand,dressedinthecleanclothes,Isatonthebed and waited. Nobody came. I went to bang on the door and found that it was unlocked. Oh, this was cute,Ithought–thetrustquotientwasgoingsuborbitalnow.Eitherthator,inthisparticularepisode of TheTwilightZone ,Iwouldfindthehousewasemptyandhadn’tbeenlivedinforyears.
    Imademywaytothelivingroom.Ihadneverbeeninitbeforebutthat’swhereIfoundthewhole
    team,aboutfortyofthem,smilingatme.ForanawfulmomentIthoughttheyweregoingtoclap.The team leader, a guy with a face made out of spare parts, said something I barely understood. Then Wonderbrawasputtingoutherhand,sayingitwasjustwork,hopingtherewerenohardfeelings.
    I was about to suggest she come upstairs, where I’d visit on her acts of violence, some of them increasingly sexual in nature, but what the team leader said now made me stop – I decided such thoughtswereunworthyofsomeonewhohadreceivedahandwrittenletterfromthePresidentofthe
    United States. It was lying on a table and I sat down to read it. Under the impressive blue-and-gold seal, it said that a complete and thorough investigation had cleared me of all wrongdoing. The presidentthankedmeforwhathecalledgreatcourage‘aboveandbeyondthecallofduty’.
    ‘In hostile territory, far removed from help or