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Keep Away Pests

    “You had to have a garden. You had no alternative. I can remember crawling on my hands and knees down the line to thin out the carrots. That was a hard chore, but I had a good time doing it. You sure would be happy when you got through.”
    —J EAN D INSMORE
H OW TO N ATURALLY P ROTECT Y OUR G ARDEN FROM N O -G OOD I NSECTS
    Step 1:
Plant wisely. Select crops that will thrive in your area. The stronger and healthier your plants are, the better they’ll be able to withstand pests. Also, move your crops around each year. Insects can be lazy bastards, so if you move their favorite foods even just a few feet away, they may not make the effort to follow them. Keep in mind, though, that they’re not picky eaters, either. They’ll eat any veggie within the same family, so don’t swap, say, green beans for wax beans or broccoli for cauliflower. Really mix things up.
    Step 2:
Run interference. Plant marigolds, tansy, thyme, dill, lemon balm, or garlic (or
any
unrelated flowers or veggies) between each crop. Your barrier plants will not only discourage insects from chomping down the entire row, but they also may attract good-for-your-garden ladybugs, who will eat your greedy guests.
    Step 3:
Visit your garden daily, and give it a good once-over. If you see any hungry insects wreaking havoc on your crops, take a deep breath and then send them to la-la land. Squish them, stompon them, or drop them in a bucket of soapy water. It sounds rather grim, and possibly even a bit mean, but remember, it’s your responsibility to feed your family, not uninvited pests. You are the quickest, most effective, most natural pesticide available.
    Step 4:
Set traps. Leave a rolled-up newspaper near your garden to collect earwigs, and a board on the ground to collect slugs. (No board? Slugs, those slimy little lushes, will also dive into a lidful of beer.) Check your traps once a day and sprinkle any suckers into your soapy bucket, while laughing maniacally. Mwah-ha-ha!

More Nifty Tips
Keep your garden tidy. Toss any old stalks, stems, or debris into your compost heap right away to prevent the beasties from making them their home.
Hose down your crops with water; sometimes a strong spray is all it takes to knock off aphids and other pests once and for all.
To help catch flying pests, squirt them with soapy water; they’ll slow down enough for you to catch them and drop them in your bucket.

Keep Out Critters

    “Squirrels are pretty, but oh my, they can do a lot of damage!”
    —B EATRICE N EIDORF

H OW TO R EPEL F URRY F RIENDS FROM Y OUR G ARDEN
    Step 1:
Identify your uninvited guests. Stake out your garden by sitting very still within eyeshot (camouflage not necessary but totally fun and fashionable) or farther away with a pair of binoculars. Then, check again at night, using the beam of a flashlight to illuminate your patch. If you catch rabbits, squirrels, or deer using your garden as a buffet table, proceed to step 2.
    Step 2:
Repel the critters. Make your veggies less tasty (for them, not for you) with a hot pepper spray, which is often too fiery for animal (and insect) palates. Buy some or make your own by tossing a few hot chili peppers into your blender with 2 cups water. Blend on high for 2 minutes. Strain the liquid through a cheesecloth into to a spray bottle and top off with water. Shake, and spray on your veggiesonce a week. (Skip your fruit, as it may leave a slightly peppery flavor.) Another option: Sprinkle mothballs around the perimeter of your garden. See which one works better, or alternate between the two.
    Step 3:
Distract those furballs. Set up a feeding station, like a bird feeder, far away from your garden to steer their attention away from your crops.
    Step 4:
Set up a barrier. Try a two-foot-high fence around your garden, or individual mesh cages around each plant. If you’ve just planted, you can even lay chicken wire directly over the ground.

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