flattering to your entire presentation. Referred to in the film industry and in photography as backlighting, it is often used to take years off the faces of models and celebrities. I must say, it doesn't do any harm to the rest of the body either. Cellulite and love handles also seem to be upstaged by backlight. I often recommend to seminar attendees to, when preparing for a nighttime tryst where moonlight isn't available, use low-wattage colored light bulbs, which now come in a variety of shades and can be found almost anywhere regular bulbs are sold. The pink or peach shades not only provide the advantage of low light, they also add a beautiful hue to your skin tone, much the same as a sunrise or sunset would do.
C ANDLES
While not all of us have a fireplace to fill a room with soft, warm light, candles are entirely practical and inexpensive, too. Depending on the size of the room, it can take one, two, or three candles to give your love nest an ethereal, transportive glow.
Types of Candles (by no means an exhaustive list)
Spice: sage, cedar, rosemary, lavender, vanilla
Fruit: pear, orange, peach, blueberry, bayberry, lemon
Flower: gardenia, rose, tuberose, jasmine
Essential Oils: patchouli, musk
Tips on Candles
Orange or citrus-scented candles are popular among men.
Ylang-ylang scents are considered aphrodisiacs.
It's best not to combine floral with fruit scents.
If you're unsure of how he may react, try a vanilla-scented candle, which is very mild.
Don't use a heavily scented candle at dinner; it will interfere with the taste of the food.
Never leave candles unattended.
Put a small amount of water in the bottom of a votive candle holder; this will automatically extinguish the candle in case you should forget to blow it out, preventing the holder from becoming so hot it might shatter.
Soft light provides a psychological advantage for those who r may feel uncomfortable about a sexual encounter, or shy in the first few interludes with a brand new lover. Regardless of how right lovemaking may feel emotionally, whenever you're trying something different sexuallybe it a new partner, position, or sexual act—it is natural to be nervous. Sometimes, a little less light on the subject can help to minimize your self-consciousness.
When you're creating a sensual environment, remember that it belongs to both of you. Always give yourselves the freedom to just say no to sex, but also remember that part of love is to be there for each other sometimes even when you'd rather be somewhere else. No one feels like making love all the time. Still, it is often those times when you least expect it that sex is the most exciting. Whether it is slow, romantic sex or quick and raunchy, when you're with someone whom you care deeply about, it is ' always making love.
Chapter Three
The Art of Kissing
A KISS IS NEVER JUST A KISS
"I'd always hated the way my husband kissed
yet I didn't know how to show him how I wanted him to really kiss me. I couldn't believe the simple
and loving technique you taught me to show him."
FEMALE SEMINAR ATTENDEE, NEW YORK STOCKBROKER, AGE 36
Kissing is where all sexual synergy starts. When your lips touch another's, it's the first sign, the first taste, of what is to come. At the same time, despite your mutual attraction to one another, if a kiss feels "off," it's difficult to not feel turned off. A married woman in a seminar told me that she doesn't like the way her husband kisses. I asked, "Then how can you go beyond that if you don't like to kiss?" She said, "We just don't kiss; we skip that part."
I say, what a shame. Kissing is one of the best ways to get all the juices flowing. But as I listened to countless other women, I began to hear similar stories about their so-called "kissing dissatisfaction." Since then I have heard a number of women and men in my seminars describe their disappointment that kissing is no longer a part of their sexual relationships.
Most of the time, they talk about how passionate their kisses