in the depths it’s the end you have ceased you slip you
continue
another age yet another familiar in spite of its strangenesses this sack this slime
the mild air the black dark the coloured images the power to crawl all these strangenesses
but progress properly so called ruins in prospect as in the dear tenth century the
dear twentieth that you might say to yourself to a dream greenhorn ah if you had seen
it four hundred years ago what upheavals
ah my young friend this sack if you had seen it I could hardly drag it and now look
my vertex touches the bottom
and I not a wrinkle not one
at the end of the myriads of hours an hour mine a quarter of an hour there are moments
it’s because I have suffered must have suffered morally hoped more than once despaired
to match your heart bleeds you lose your heart drop by drop weep even an odd tear
inward no sound no more images no more journeys no more hunger or thirst the heart
is going you’ll soon be there I hear it there are moments they are good moments
paradise before the hoping from sleep I come to sleep return between the two there
is all all the doing suffering failing bungling achieving until the mud yawns again
that’s how they’re trying to tell me this time part one before Pim from one sleep
to the next
then Pim the lost tins the groping hand the arse the two cries mine mute the birth
of hope on with it get it over have it behind me feel the heart going hear it said
you’re nearly there
be with Pim have been with Pim have him behind me hear it said he’ll come back another
will come better than Pim he’s coming right leg right arm push pull ten yards fifteen
yards you stay quiet where you are in the dark the mud and on you suddenly a hand
like yours on Pim two cries his mute
you will have a little voice it will be barely audible you will whisper in his ear
you will have a little life you will whisper it in his ear it will be different quite
different quite a different music you’ll see a little like Pim a little life music
but in your mouth it will be new to you
then go for good and no goodbyes that age will be over all the ages or merely you
no more journeys no more couples no more abandons ever again anywhere hear that
how it was before Pim first say that natural order the same things the same things
say them as I hear them murmur them to the mud divide into three a single eternity
for the sake of clarity I wake and off I go all life part one before Pim how it was
leaving only with Pim how it was leaving only after Pim how it was how it is when
the panting stops bits and scraps I wake off I go my day my life part one bits and
scraps
asleep I see me asleep on my side or on my face it’s one or the other on my side it’s
preferable which side the right it’s preferable the sack under my head or clasped to my belly clasped to my belly the knees drawn
up the back bent in a hoop the tiny head near the knees curled round the sack Belacqua
fallen over on his side tired of waiting forgotten of the hearts where grace abides
asleep
I know not what insect wound round its treasure I come back with empty hands to me
to my place what to begin with ask myself that last a moment with that
what to begin my long day my life present formulation last a moment with that coiled
round my treasure listening my God to have to murmur that
twenty years a hundred years not a sound and I listen not a gleam and I strain my
eyes four hundred times my only season I clasp the sack closer to me a tin clinks
first respite very first from the silence of this black sap
something wrong there
the mud never cold never dry it doesn’t dry on me the air laden with warm vapour of
water or some other liquid I sniff the air smell nothing a hundred years not a smell
I sniff the air
nothing dries I clutch the sack first real sign of life it drips a tin clinks my hair
never dry no electricity impossible fluff it up I