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fiction.”
    “ What!”
    “ Where do they think flying saucers come from then?” demanded
Frederick.
    “ Most people think the Air Force is making all that flying
saucer stuff up.”
    “ Why?”
    “ Most people don’t know.”
    The Council members wrote down this new information, after
erasing a lot of their earlier notes.
    “ I see… and um… what about nuclear bombs?” asked Frederick. “How
many nuclear bombs does the Earth have, Mr. Burly? Be honest now.”
    “ Uh… seven.”
    The Council members exchanged meaningful looks.
    Stinky shook his head. “Oh, Man! Man! Once long ago we too had
our Atomic Age. We nearly destroyed ourselves. But we learned to control our
emotions, we gained wisdom, and so the danger passed. But you, with your stupid
minds, are not ready to wield such power.”
    “ And you are, eh?”
    “ Never mind us. We’re talking about you. You’re not ready. We’re
plenty ready.”
    “ Baloney.”
    Stinky bristled. “That’s one of the things holding your planet
back – smart remarks like that. Oh, Man! Man!”
    I was getting mad. “I’m liable to sock you in the nose in a
minute,” I warned them. “Don’t think it couldn’t happen.”
    “ You better not sock The Council in the nose,” warned Frederick.
    “ That’s out,” added Philip.
    “ Okay, I won’t. But watch your mouth.”
    “ Agreed.”
    “ Anyway,” I explained, “our atomic bombs are for peaceful
purposes.”
    “ Such as?”
    “ Uh… blowing up… wars.”
    This set Stinky off again. “Oh, Man! Man!”
    Frederick held up a restraining hand. Stinky sat back down.
    “ Now to the most important question,” said Frederick. “How much
do you know about our activities on Earth and how much have you told others?”
    I told them the few things I knew, and some of the things I’d
guessed. They listened attentively.
    “ Accurate as far as it goes,” admitted Frederick. “Though I
don’t understand the part about the Van Allen Radiation Belts.”
    “ That’s just a theory at this point,” I explained.
    “ I see… and who have you shared this information with?”
    “ I told the cops some of it, but they couldn’t really understand
what I was saying because my mouth was full of their stuff.”
    “ You told no one else?”
    “ No.”
    They relaxed. “Then no harm has been done,” said Philip. He
indicated me. “What shall we do with him?”
    “ Let’s return him home unharmed.”
    “ We weren’t talking to you, Mr. Burly.”
    They talked it over. They didn’t see how they could return me
to Earth with what I knew now. “He could tell them about The Council!” fretted
Frederick.
    I raised a hand. “This is a stupid question, but…”
    “ All your questions are stupid.”
    “ Yes… well… anyway… since you’re so advanced and everything, why
can’t you just remove my memories of the past week, then send me home? I won’t
know any of this ever happened. I’ll be a week late for everything for the rest
of my life, but what else is new?”
    They were intrigued by the idea, with one modification. Why not
wipe out my entire memory and replace it with something they liked better?
    “ Hey, wait a minute…” I said.
    The Council voted. None of my votes were counted, because they
said I wasn’t a member of The Council. It was decided that I would be
brainwashed and reprogrammed to be a Martian. My treatments would begin at
once.
    I needed to do something quick. I figured our germs might do
them in, I’d read something about that somewhere, so I tried coughing in their
faces. After about ten coughs they told me to quit it. I tried a couple more
coughs, then gave it up.
    Now that my fate had been decided, and we didn’t have to worry
about me anymore, the Martians became less formal and more chatty.
    Philip asked me: “When you were on Earth did you ever see a
television program called ‘My Favorite Martian’?”
    “ Yeah. Stinks.”
    All three men looked stunned and