Read House of Payne: Rude for Free Online

“Tonya always gets that, egg over medium, with a side of Greek yogurt and honey. Then there’s my personal favorite, the gluten-free, light cream cheese crepes with the mixed berry and honey reduction. Frankie likes her crepes to be savory, so she orders the chicken and spinach crepes with Hollandaise sauce. Scout’s all about the sun-dried tomato and feta cheese frittata and your mother can personally vouch for just about any quiche they make here, though she does seem to favor the asparagus, bacon and gruyere cheese crustless quiche.”
    “The quiche sounds pretty good since it’s mainly protein, but Frankie’s favorite sounds perfect. And I don’t think I’ve ever had a Bellini, so I’m going for it. What kind of coffees do they have here? I’ve got a wicked addiction to genuine Italian-roast espresso, so I’m hoping they’ve got the on the menu.”
    What.
    The.
    Fuck .
    “Uh… yeah. They have great espresso here, though we never order it when we have your mother with us. She can’t do caffeine anymore, something that breaks her heart, so we try not to drink anything like coffee in front of her.”
    “Yeah?” He looked up at her, and the surprising warmth of his gaze when it connected with hers brought everything inside her to a halt. “The way you look after my mom is pretty damn awesome, Sassy. Thinking about little details, like not drinking coffee in front of her so she won’t suffer… that just kicks so much ass.”
    “We all do it.” She had to look away. She had to, while she still remembered they hated each other. “It’s no big deal.”
    “It’s also cool that you know what everyone’s preference is right off the top of your head.” Without even looking at it, he closed his menu and set it aside. “You all keep yourselves woven into my mom’s life, just as you do with each other. You support each other the way a family should. I know my parents are grateful for that. I am too.”
    She waved a vague hand at that, frustrated he kept being charming while refusing to break out in hives. With all the over-the-top femininity of The Secret Garden, there should have been mass amounts of hive-breakage by now. “We strays are all grateful to your parents. Are you sure you don’t want anything more substantial than crepes? Maybe go somewhere else?”
    “You kidding? This place rocks.” He looked around so appreciatively she wanted to choke him with her lace-edged napkin. “Next time you bring Mom around, let me know, yeah? I’d love to join you.”
    “Goddamn it,” she hissed, even as their server headed their way. “My bringing your super-bad Marine ass here is the equivalent of you bringing me out to a titty bar. You’re not supposed to fucking enjoy it.”
    He burst out laughing, then kept at it until he had to wipe at the corners of his eyes. Sass watched, frozen in her seat like someone had put a spell on her. She’d never heard Rude laugh in all the years she’d known him, and she couldn’t help but stare at the spectacle. He’d always been a handsome bastard, with his thick black hair and lady-killer cognac eyes, but she had never seen the attractive laugh lines at the corners of those eyes, or the shallow dimples that bracketed his mouth.
    Dimples. Why the hell did he had to have dimples? That was like finding out Godzilla had dimples. It wasn’t fair.
    It took a while for him to calm down long enough for them to put in their orders, and she could still see laughter in his eyes as he looked back to her once their server left. Then he took his phone out, messed with it for a couple of seconds, and took a picture of her before she knew what he was going to do.
    “What the hell.” To ensure he didn’t do it again, she put up a hand to block another shot like a poor man’s version of Naomi Campbell. “What are you doing?”
    “Recording the poutiest face in Chicago for posterity. And also sharing it with everyone, because it’s too fucking hilarious to keep to