Holding On

Read Holding On for Free Online

Book: Read Holding On for Free Online
Authors: Marcia Willett
home. Like as not he’ll be off at sea, anyway, and she’ll be all alone. Oh, I’m that worried I can’t think straight.’
    â€˜Fliss is a sailor’s wife now,’ said Fox gently. ‘Her duty is with the Commander. There’s nowt nor summat any of us can do about that, maid. Just be thankful there’s so much more medical knowhow these days.’
    â€˜She’s frightened,’ said Ellen miserably, sitting down suddenly. ‘I can see it, for all her bright chatter. She doesn’t deceive me.’
    Fox stared at her, shocked by this revelation. He had been quite taken in by Fliss’s cheerfulness but now, as he looked at the uncharacteristic slump of Ellen’s shoulders, he began to feel infected by her anxiety.
    â€˜It reminds of me when they first arrived from Kenya,’ said Ellen. ‘Remember? She was always pushing down her own grief because of Mole being struck dumb by the shock. I can see her now at this very table, panic-stricken because she thought he’d never talk again and him swallowing and swallowing, trying to get the words out. She’d never let him see it, though. Always bright and cheerful, trying to distract him, hiding her fear. She’s doing it again now but she doesn’t fool me .’
    Fox could think of nothing to say. He felt inadequate and helpless, guessing that anything he suggested would be rejected by Ellen in her present frame of mind. He gave a sigh of relief as Caroline and Perks came in to the kitchen together.
    â€˜It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the weather can change,’ said Caroline, shutting the door behind her as Perks headed for her basket. ‘Summer one day, autumn the next . . .’
    She paused, sensing the atmosphere, her glance passing between the two of them. Fox shook his head slightly, jerking it towards Ellen, pulling down the corners of his mouth warningly. Caroline raised her eyebrows questioningly and put her hand lightly on Ellen’s shoulder as she passed.
    â€˜I need a cup of tea,’ she said. ‘It’s not that it’s cold exactly, but there’s a kind of dankness. Thank goodness for a nice warm kitchen. Cuppa, Ellen? I see Fox has got one already.’
    â€˜I think I will,’ said Ellen, not moving. ‘I’ve got the hump today and that’s all there is to it.’
    â€˜Poor old Ellen.’ Caroline lifted the big brown teapot from the Aga and put it on the table. ‘Any particular reason or is it Mole’s old “black dog” kind of depression?’
    â€˜It’s that Fliss,’ wailed Ellen, plaiting her fingers together and wringing her hands. ‘She’s not happy, Caroline. No two ways about it.’
    â€˜No,’ said Caroline after a moment. ‘No, I realise that. Here.’ She poured Ellen’s tea and pushed the cup towards her. ‘I’ve been thinking about it, too. She’s trying to be brave about it but there’s a lot on her mind. The baby, going to Hong Kong, being away from us all for two years. The trouble is there’s nothing to be done about it. If she stays behind to have the baby at home and then waits for it to be old enough to travel, half of Miles’s time will be over before she gets out there.’
    â€˜In my young days,’ said Ellen grimly, unimpressed by this argument, ‘young navy wives didn’t go gadding round the world with their husbands. They stayed at home sensibly, bringing up their children. I recall fathers not seeing children till they were two years old and upwards.’
    â€˜No aeroplanes in those days,’ put in Fox. ‘The sea voyage out to the China station and suchlike was enough to put off most young wives.’
    â€˜But it’s not new,’ said Caroline gently. ‘Think of the British out in India. And surely you wouldn’t want Miles not to see his child until it was two years old,

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