end of side two. I look at my watch and decide to go to sleep, but after a few moments of the do-I-need-the-loo? debate, I give in and go. Yawning, I walk out on to the landing straight into Anne.
‘Jim,’ she says.
I don’t say anything because she’s wearing nothing, apart from the brand new Inspiral Carpets T-shirt that Nick bought at their gig the previous week. A gig I’d taken him to.
We both stand there awkwardly until I say, ‘I was just going to the loo.’
‘I was going too, but I’ll wait until you’ve finished.’
‘See you in the morning, then,’ I reply forlornly, as I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me.
10.02 a.m.
When I come downstairs in the morning, Anne is nowhere to be seen and Nick is sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking as if he has been waiting for me.
‘Morning,’ he says, as I sit down.
‘Morning,’ I reply. ‘Is she still here?’
‘No, she went this morning.’
There’s a long pause.
‘So, are you seeing her, then?’ I ask eventually.
He shakes his head. ‘If it’s any consolation,’ he adds, ‘I think she does really like you.’
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. ‘If she likes me so much what’s she doing coming out of your bedroom in the middle of the night?’
‘Believe me,’ he sighs, ‘it was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. I was absolutely mad about her when we lived in halls. I thought she really liked me too. She used to flirt with me constantly but nothing ever happened. Anyway, one night I’m out with her, and I thought, This is getting ridiculous so I tried to kiss her and she gave me this whole line about wanting to be friends. So, I said, “Fine, let’s be friends,” and then she avoids me like the plague and then the next thing I know she’s getting off with a mate from my course.’
‘But why would she do that?’
Nick shrugs. ‘That’s women for you. Who knows what’s going on in their minds?’
11.55 p.m.
As I lie in bed later that night with the lyrics to ‘Teaser Pleaser’ half worked out, I try to work out how I’m feeling. The funny thing is I don’t blame Nick at all. And I don’t blame Anne either. I blame me and my rubbish approach to the fairer sex. This, I decide, is going to be a watershed for all my relationships from this point forwards. From now on I’m going to be different. No more falling in love with the unattainable.
Friday, 4 October 1991
7.28 p.m.
It’s the beginning of the first term of our last year at university and Nick, Ed and I are at home waiting for a guy who’s supposed to be coming round to audition for the band. Until the summer Captain Magnet were having a really good year. We played over a dozen gigs and have twice been reviewed by the local paper. Disaster struck, however, when Ruth, our guitarist, left following ‘artistic differences’ (she wanted us to play some songs she’d written and I said no because they weren’t very good). In desperate need of a replacement, we asked around our friends and the only person who’s even vaguely interested is coming round now. We’re just about to go over what we’re looking for in a guitarist when there’s a knock at the door.
‘That’ll be the door,’ says Nick, grinning.
‘Fine,’ I reply. ‘I’ll get it.’
I open the door and standing in front of me is a tall guy in a leather jacket.
‘Hi,’ he says. ‘I’m Damon. I’m here to audition for Captain Magnet.’
‘I’m Jim,’ I tell him. ‘I’m the lead singer. Come in.’
Damon follows me into the living room, plugs his guitar into Nick’s amp and plays two and a half songs for me, Nick and Ed. He does a cover of a Stone Roses song, a cover of a Dinosaur Jr song, and half of a song he’d written himself called ‘The Girl From Inner Space’, which he unashamedly tells us is about his girlfriend. Given that he’s a better all-round musician than all of us put together, it’s a foregone conclusion that he should join
‘Jim,’ she says.
I don’t say anything because she’s wearing nothing, apart from the brand new Inspiral Carpets T-shirt that Nick bought at their gig the previous week. A gig I’d taken him to.
We both stand there awkwardly until I say, ‘I was just going to the loo.’
‘I was going too, but I’ll wait until you’ve finished.’
‘See you in the morning, then,’ I reply forlornly, as I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me.
10.02 a.m.
When I come downstairs in the morning, Anne is nowhere to be seen and Nick is sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking as if he has been waiting for me.
‘Morning,’ he says, as I sit down.
‘Morning,’ I reply. ‘Is she still here?’
‘No, she went this morning.’
There’s a long pause.
‘So, are you seeing her, then?’ I ask eventually.
He shakes his head. ‘If it’s any consolation,’ he adds, ‘I think she does really like you.’
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. ‘If she likes me so much what’s she doing coming out of your bedroom in the middle of the night?’
‘Believe me,’ he sighs, ‘it was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. I was absolutely mad about her when we lived in halls. I thought she really liked me too. She used to flirt with me constantly but nothing ever happened. Anyway, one night I’m out with her, and I thought, This is getting ridiculous so I tried to kiss her and she gave me this whole line about wanting to be friends. So, I said, “Fine, let’s be friends,” and then she avoids me like the plague and then the next thing I know she’s getting off with a mate from my course.’
‘But why would she do that?’
Nick shrugs. ‘That’s women for you. Who knows what’s going on in their minds?’
11.55 p.m.
As I lie in bed later that night with the lyrics to ‘Teaser Pleaser’ half worked out, I try to work out how I’m feeling. The funny thing is I don’t blame Nick at all. And I don’t blame Anne either. I blame me and my rubbish approach to the fairer sex. This, I decide, is going to be a watershed for all my relationships from this point forwards. From now on I’m going to be different. No more falling in love with the unattainable.
Friday, 4 October 1991
7.28 p.m.
It’s the beginning of the first term of our last year at university and Nick, Ed and I are at home waiting for a guy who’s supposed to be coming round to audition for the band. Until the summer Captain Magnet were having a really good year. We played over a dozen gigs and have twice been reviewed by the local paper. Disaster struck, however, when Ruth, our guitarist, left following ‘artistic differences’ (she wanted us to play some songs she’d written and I said no because they weren’t very good). In desperate need of a replacement, we asked around our friends and the only person who’s even vaguely interested is coming round now. We’re just about to go over what we’re looking for in a guitarist when there’s a knock at the door.
‘That’ll be the door,’ says Nick, grinning.
‘Fine,’ I reply. ‘I’ll get it.’
I open the door and standing in front of me is a tall guy in a leather jacket.
‘Hi,’ he says. ‘I’m Damon. I’m here to audition for Captain Magnet.’
‘I’m Jim,’ I tell him. ‘I’m the lead singer. Come in.’
Damon follows me into the living room, plugs his guitar into Nick’s amp and plays two and a half songs for me, Nick and Ed. He does a cover of a Stone Roses song, a cover of a Dinosaur Jr song, and half of a song he’d written himself called ‘The Girl From Inner Space’, which he unashamedly tells us is about his girlfriend. Given that he’s a better all-round musician than all of us put together, it’s a foregone conclusion that he should join
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