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discordant crash that made all of them jump and Ben fuss. Julia turned to her son and tugged on his ear.
    “Nana’s bringing you more pancakes, buddy,” she whispered, staring at her son to stall for time.
    No rest for the weary . She quickly shifted to survival mode. She had the money that the army gave her each month as a widow, but she was still paying off most of Mitch’s debts. The remainder might cover rent some place, although she wasn’t sure she wanted to live in a place that could be rented for next to nothing. She’d need to find a job. She would have to get daycare for Ben.
    She’d come all the way to New Springs and now didn’t have enough money to leave immediately. She’d have to stay until next month’s check—
    “Do you have to go so soon?” Agnes asked, her hands clenching the counter. “I mean it would be wonderful to have you stay.”
    “Stay?” Julia asked, not sure she’d heard correctly.
    “As long as you like,” Agnes insisted. “You can stay here however long. Ron used to teach at the community college over in Lawshaw. I’m sure he could talk to someone there. Get you enrolled in the fall and you could get your degree. I remember Mitch saying something about you wanting a degree.”
    And another lie from Mitch. Thank you, sweetheart .
    “I hadn’t given it much thought,” Julia said and she really hadn’t. Mitch’s death, the phone call from Agnes, getting out of Germany, all of that had taken up every minute of her life.
    “Well, you can be here and think about it. This house is so empty with just the two of us,” Agnes said. Ron stared at Julia levelly, his eyes warm and steadfast.
    “You can get your associate degree for just about anything at Lawshaw, can’t she, Ron?”
    “We would like you to stay,” Ron said, cutting through his wife’s chatter. “We would like to get to know you and Ben.”
    “You know,” she said with a bright smile, solace like a cool stream of water sliding through her, gently eroding the tension that hadbuilt in the last few moments. “You had me with the coffee.” She lifted her mug and took a sip while Agnes and Ron laughed.
    “What do you think, buddy?” Julia asked her son. “Should we stay?
    Ben smiled, his face radiant and beloved and threw his arms in the air. “Pancake!”
    “Sounds unanimous,” Ron said.
    Julia watched her son clap his hands and she took a big sip of coffee, using both hands so that she wouldn’t do the same.

CHAPTER FOUR
    J ULIA INSISTED on doing the dinner dishes that night and spent a long time with her hands in the warm soapy water, washing Agnes’s great-grandmother’s china.
    Her fingers traced the faded vine around the edge of a dinner plate and she tried to imagine owning something so old. So precious. There was such a feeling of solidity and permanence in this house that she craved to be a part of.
    She put Ben to sleep after finishing the dishes and Agnes retired a few hours later, declaring herself pooped. But Julia was too awake to go to bed. In Germany she’d put Ben in daycare three days a week for two hours because she’d been worried that seeing only her day in, day out would stunt him in some way—make him a social outcast in kindergarten. So while he’d learned to share toys with other kids,Julia had taken long runs to drive out her worry, to banish her fears. It seemed a good tactic to use now.
    “I am going to go for a walk,” she told Ron, who read in his easy chair. He and Agnes had accepted Julia so quickly, had taken care of her and Ben so readily, that she felt a little blank. What am I supposed to do? she wondered. She wanted so badly to believe that this comfort and family was real. Was hers. She could settle in, put her feet up and stop treading water. But part of her was still braced—ready for the rejection she still wasn’t entirely convinced wasn’t going to come.
    “Ben is out like a light,” she said assuring Ron that she wasn’t going to run out and leave