Read High for Free Online

shakes her head. Like she’s any better. I used to be good once upon a time. It was her and Felix who corrupted me. Granted I don’t think they knew quite what they were unleashing, but still.
    I check my watch. It’s eleven o’ clock and I had to face my mother today for the first time in over a year. I should be blind drunk by now and probably a good few lines into a gram of coke, but I’m not, and that’s just fucking tragic.
    I rummage in my clutch because I’m sure I must have a Mandy in here somewhere. Ah ha! I hold the little pink pill up in front of my face, trying to decipher what I think it is. It could be mandy, speed or a sleeping pill. Ah, fuck it. I pop it in my mouth and down the rest of my drink, heading for a group of people in the middle of the room who are dancing. I don’t know any of them. I don’t care.
    A few minutes in and I’m so hot, my skin feels like it’s on fire, and I’m just so…horny. Okay, mandy, that pill was definitely mandy. My body moves with the music, and I smile as that weightlessness washes over me. I don’t care about anything but the music.
    A guy moves closer to me, our bodies brushing against each other as we dance in sync.
    Swaying my hips, I drag my hand through my hair. His eyes trace over my barely-there dress, which hikes further up my thighs as I lift my arms. Two semi-circles are cut out of the material, leaving enormous patches of bare skin that span from my ribs to my hips. He moves behind me gripping my bare hip as he grinds against my body. Sex. Lust. Love. They are the most potent of human reactions because they are wild, uncontrollable, animal. These are the emotions that drive us. These are life’s natural highs. 
    I glance across the room and lock eyes with Rhett, as though I’m magnetically drawn to him, I look up and there he is.
    The guy’s lips brush my neck before he whispers in my ear. “Come home with me.” It’s not really even a question so much as a demand. I roll my eyes and an amused smirk touches Rhett’s lips.
    I turn and face him, placing a hand on his chest. “A few minutes of dirty dancing and you think I want to fuck you?” He says nothing and I lean closer to his ear. “Sweetheart, I’m Blake McQueen. I slut drop on everyone. Don’t take it personally.” I smile and pat his shoulder as I walk away. I glance back at Rhett, but he’s gone.
    A sheen of sweat clings to my skin and I scoop my hair off the back of my neck. God, I need some air and a cigarette.
    I step outside onto the balcony, inhaling the cool spring air. There’s no one else out here, and it’s almost peaceful. The wind whips my hair away from my face and blocks out the sound of the party behind me. I look out over the London skyline, the lights below like a thousand scattered stars. My fingers grip the glass railing as I lean over it slightly. The world feels so open up here, and as I look down at the massive drop to the ground adrenaline pumps through my veins. I wonder what it would be like to jump? To free fall through the air? It must be a rush.
    I fumble in my bag for a cigarette and my fingers brush over the small bag of blow sitting in the bottom of my clutch, so harmless, yet so enticing. I’m not an addict, but I’ll admit that I chase the high. It doesn’t need to be a particular high. It can be drink, sex, drugs, whatever. Normal, boring, quiet—these have become the things I cannot stand because it’s in the quiet of the low that I start to think, and I don’t want to think. I just want to be. I want to live. I want to  feel  alive.
    I take out the cigarette and press it to my lips, holding it there as I search for my lighter. My fingers brush over every fucking item in my bag except the damn lighter. Why is it a tiny clutch suddenly feels like Mary Poppin’s bag when you’re looking for something? I sigh in frustration when I can’t find it. “Motherfucker.”
    I jump when I hear a low rumble of laughter to my left. There’s a