Read Here Comes the Vampire for Free Online

wasn’t one hundred percent certain I hadn’t slipped with something .
    “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” she said accusingly.
    Ugh. I was so busted. “I, um,” I swallowed, “That is, I really didn’t know how,” I finally said after a rush of dread and a sinking I’m-never-talking-my-way-out-of-this . “I mean, you don’t just blurt out something like that.”
    “No, but you could have at least hinted. Paved the way. Poured the foundation. Anything to cushion the blow before you dropped the bomb.”
    “I didn’t want to scare you off.”
    She seemed to think. “I can understand that. My grandmother was one and she scared the crap out of me every time I went to her house. It was always so dark and creepy.”
    “Tell me about it.”
    “And all those candles...”
    “We mainly rely on electricity these days, but I hear ya.”
    “And all those rosary beads she used to wear. I like a great piece of jewelry as much as the next girl, but the whole crucifix thing went out ages ago. I get it that she has one hanging by her bed, but she doesn’t have to wear them, right? I mean there’s no law that says she’s going to hell if she doesn’t have a rosary around her neck.”
    Okay, we’d definitely hopped two different trains of thought back at the uh, oh station. “What, um, exactly are we talking about?”
    “The fact that you’re Catholic. That’s why you need to prove that you didn’t have sex with Remy, right? To get an annulment from the Church?”
    Relief rushed through me, followed by a sliver of disappointment because, in all honesty, I did think of Evie as one of my BFFs and I hated keeping such a huge secret from her. Next to The Ninas, Evie was my girl. She cd a girl. ould drink a latte, answer phones and greet clients, and all without smudging her Perfectly Pink lip gloss. She was smart and loyal and I was lucky to have her working for me.
    At the same time, I had responsibilities. Not only was I duty bound as a born vampere to procreate, I had to play it cool. Lay low.
    “Catholic,” I blurted. “That’s me. Guilty as charged. That’s why I need to prove my innocence. So I can get an annulment. From a priest.” When she didn’t say anything, I added, “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Please don’t be mad at me.”
    “I joined Couponclippers.com two weeks ago,” she blurted, as if she’d just admitted to committing one of the seven deadlies.
    “Seriously?”
    “So I guess we’re even. So tell ,” her voice took on an excited note, “was it even the teeniest, tiniest bit romantic?”
    “There was an Elvis impersonator officiating the ceremony.”
    “Are we talking Elvis pre-bloat or post bloat?”
    “Does it matter?”
    “Well, yeah. Have you ever seen him in Jail House Rock ?” A loud sneeze punctuated the question. “Total hunk.”
    I searched my mind for some picture of the ceremony and kept coming back to my mother’s smiling face. “I’m not sure, but that’s beside the point. Skinny Elvis or fat Elvis—it doesn’t matter. I’m stuck with Remy Tremaine. Forever .”
    “Annulment isn’t the only choice.” Another sneeze. “There’s always divorce.”
    “That won’t really work in my case.”
    “Look, I know your family might get upset, but you’re the one who has to live with him. Just get a good lawyer, chalk the whole thing up to lots of alcohol and bad choices, and get on with your life. Your parents will come around.”
    “Before or after they disown me?”
    “You really think they’ll get that freaked?”
    “I know . Marchettes don’t get divorced. It goes against everything we believe in.” Not to mention there was no such thing as divorce among born vampires. We mated for life.
    Eternal life.
    “I think I’m going to be sick again.” I swallowed and thought of my own Prada stilettos directly in my line of fire should I start rolfing again.
    I know, I know. Not quite as expensive as my ma’s Gucci pythons, but still.