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questions to put in your chart.” She looked at Mom. “I understand that Kristen has not had a full evaluation.  However, this doesn’t mean anything, since Dr. Cuvo has already admitted her.”
     
    Mom nodded at her while trying to look at my chart.  The nurse kept it at an angle so that she could write.  Mom wasn’t having much success.
    “It’s just procedure.  We have to do these evaluations.  It’s just an initial one, and then we will do another one before Kristen is discharged.”  She looked at me and smiled. 
    I wanted to try to smile back, but I felt too awkward.  Mom was sitting right beside me.  I couldn’t let her think that I actually felt good about this place or what I had done to get here.
    Mom squeezed my hand. “Now we’ll get you the help that you need.  Some real help,” she said, not looking at me.
    The nurse gave me another warm smile.  I didn’t feel warm.  I felt cold.  I wished I could go home with Mom.  I wished that I could fool them and tell them I was fine, that I was just having a bad night and that I was over all of that mess.  I wished. 
    But there I was, about to be left alone, for God only knew how long, with people who didn’t know me. People whom I didn’t know, Mom didn’t know, and who probably didn’t really care about me.  They were just people with jobs to me.  They were people who needed to make a living, just like we all did.  In addition, I had seen how people were treated in these types of places.  I had watched television specials and investigative documentaries about old mental hospitals.  There was no way I could get sane.  Not in this place.  Not in prison.
    “Excuse me, when will I get to see Dr. Cuvo?”  I asked Nurse Habersham.
    “You will get to see your doctor tomorrow.  Right now, I am going to let you have the things that are safe for you to keep in your room.  They are all in your suitcase, there by your feet.  We had to remove a few things, but we hold on to them.  You will be able to have them when you need them. You can’t keep items like hair sprays, nail files, and make-up, things like that.  It’s just procedure.”
    “Do I need to take some things home with me?” Mom asked her.
     
    “You can take whatever you don’t want us to hold.  We just lock up those other things until she needs them.  She can ask for her things like make up and nail files in the morning at grooming time, but she just can’t keep them in her possession.” 
    I rolled my eyes.  Yep, I thought, why didn’t I think of that?  I could kill myself with a lipstick and some hair spray.  I could just picture it.  I felt myself chuckle when my stomach jumped.  I must have sounded strange, because the nurse said, “Bless you,” as if I had sneezed.  Better she thought I had sneezed than laughed.
    “How old are you, Kristen?” Nurse Habersham asked.
    “She’s seventeen,” Mom spoke up for me. “Her eighteenth birthday isn’t for another month and a half.”
    “Okay. Kristen, you are going to be on the Adolescent Ward with peers around your age.” Nurse Habersham explained.
    I would have preferred to go to the ward with the adults.  Maybe there would be a lot of old and quiet people.  They would leave me alone and not tease me like the other kids did.
    “Are you still in school, Kristen?” Nurse Habersham asked. 
    “I’m home schooled, but I will be graduating soon.”
    “Home school,” she repeated.  “Well, if she is to keep up with her schooling, you can bring her books and homework to her.  Since it is summertime, we don’t have study hall during the day. Study hall is only during the school year.  If Kristen’s home schooling is year-round, then she could take time during her free periods to study.”
    Mom nodded.  I sat still, staring down at my hands. They rested on top of my knees.
    The nurse excused herself and went to the door.  She spoke very low to someone who was standing out there.  I turned to