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“Fine.” She gave him a
meaningless smile and walked quickly to the steps, eager to put this evening
behind her.
    They went down the steps in silence, the warm spring night
closing around them. The porch light cast a yellow glow on the walk, fading as
they neared the car.
    She swung the rear door open, struggling to find something
polite and dismissive to say to Ryan.
    “She is tired, isn’t she?” Ryan lowered Mandy to her booster
seat and fastened the seatbelt carefully. He picked up the teddy bear. It
looked tiny in his big hands as he tucked it against Mandy. “She’s almost
asleep already,” he said softly.
    Guilt flickered. “I shouldn’t have stayed so long. This was too
much excitement for her.”
    Ryan straightened, planting one hand against the car roof and
looking at her questioningly. “Hey, I know we’re a noisy bunch, but we’re not
that bad, are we?”
    “I didn’t mean it that way.” She could feel the heat in her
cheeks. She hadn’t intended her words as an insult. He should realize that.
    “It looked to me as if Mandy had a good time. Sure you’re not
overreacting a little?”
    She stiffened. “If you’re saying I’m overprotective of my
daughter—”
    “Hey, relax. I wasn’t criticizing.” He glanced at Mandy, asleep
now with the bear cuddled against her chin, safe in the cocoon of her car seat.
“I’d probably feel exactly the same if I were Mandy’s parent.”
    Her flicker of anger died. “Maybe I am a little too protective.”
The fact that he’d agreed with her made it easier to admit. “I just—well, I
know I’m all Mandy has, so I have to do it right. I guess I still haven’t
figured out how to let her learn without getting hurt.”
    “Maybe that’s impossible.” He leaned toward her a little, and
she caught the fresh scent of soap on his skin, mingled with the heady aroma of
lilacs from the huge old bushes that flanked the driveway. “I don’t know how my
folks managed with the five of us, and then taking in my cousin Brendan, too.
We were always getting hurt.”
    “Your parents had each other to rely on.” Her thoughts flickered
to Jason. She’d learned the hard way not to rely on him.
    “Even with a ton of family around willing to give you free
advice, it’s not always easy to know what to do.”
    His serious expression startled her. She wasn’t used to seeing
somber reflection from Ryan, and she’d guess most other people weren’t, either.
He was always so laughing and relaxed that it was hard to remember that he
probably had his dark moments, too.
    “Have they been giving you advice about something?”
    Somehow the dusk and quiet of the warm summer evening made it
easier to ask the personal question. It was as if, for the moment at least,
they were enclosed together, separate from the happy, noisy family group she
knew was behind the wide windows.
    He shook his head. “Actually, this time I haven’t let them in on
it. Sometimes other people’s expectations get in the way of knowing what’s best
for you.”
    “Is it
something you want to talk about?”
    “Are you offering to listen?” He leaned a little closer, until
she could almost feel his breath against her face.
    Her heart lurched. It took an effort to speak evenly.
    “After everything you’ve done for us, listening is a small
repayment.”
    “No repayment needed. But actually, I’m thinking of making a
career change.”
    That startled her. “Leave the fire department?” She’d imagine
that would create a stir in the Flanagan family. They’d all seemed so proud of
their position. Even Brendan, the minister, was the fire department chaplain,
he’d told her.
    “Not leave entirely, no. I’ve applied for a position with the
arson squad. It’s run by the fire department here in Suffolk, rather than the
police like it is some places, but it’s a separate branch.”
    “Is that really such a change? You’d still be a firefighter in a
way, wouldn’t you?”
    “You heard my dad.