ENRIETTA
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August 12, 1942
M Y D EAR R OBERT
I have been having headaches. Evensong, who suffers dreadfully in her head, said they were nothing. I thought they were quite bad, but whenever I mentioned them toCharles, he said fretfully: âFor goodnessâ sake donât letâs have Illness in the Home;â so at last I put on a hat and went and sat in his waiting room with all the other patients. Even that wasnât a great success, because the patients said: âYou wonât mind if I go before you, will you, because you can see dear Doctor Brown at any time, and Iâm in such a hurry.â So that, in the end, I was the only one left, and Charles rushed in and said: âIâm awfully sorry Henrietta, but I canât stop now. You must come another time.â
When the Linnet came home for some leave, I told her about my headaches. The Linnet, who is a sympathetic child, listened with attention, and when Charles came in she said, in a sort of nurseâs voice: âI think Mummyâs got neurasthenia.â
âThen sheâd better go and see Knox,â said Charles, in a relieved voice.
Knox is the eminent psychiatrist who heals the mentally unstable in our Cathedral City. Knox isnât his real name. We call him that because he is a Nervo specialist, from which you will gather, dear Robert, that this family is not yet cured of its habit of making poor jokes. *
The following Wednesday I was shown into the hushed stillness of Knoxâs exquisite waiting room. I sat there in great contentment. I was a Patient at last. I hadnât enjoyed such a luxury for years.
A secretary with a face like a Madonna stole silently into the room. âWill you come this way, Mrs Brown,â she said, with a gentle smile, and I tiptoed into the Presence.
âMy dear Henrietta,â said Knox. âI am delighted to see you, but what brings you here?â
âIâve got neurasthenia,â I said proudly.
âDear me!â said Knox in his kindly way; âand how have you managed to get that?â
âDo you think it might be the war?â
âItâs a possibility.â
Knoxâs room was cool and dim, and the Patientsâ Chair a cradle of billowing comfort. After answering one or two sympathetic questions about the children, Matins, Evensong, and Shopping in the Street, my tongue was loosened and a torrent of words poured from my lips. Knox listened with the deepest attention. From time to time he made an attempt to say something himself, but I waved him aside and swept onwards, borne on the torrent of my own loquacity. I was a Patient with neurasthenia, and I had often heard Charles say that they did nothing but talk about themselves. Well, here was my chance. It might never occur again, and I was going to make the best of it.
At the end of an hour, I paused for breath, and Knox rang the bell and asked the secretary to bring me a glass of water.
âAll you have told me is very interesting,â he said.
âIs it?â I said in a hoarse voice, and opened my mouth to begin again.
âTell me,â said Knox quickly, âdo you ever have dreams?â
âOften.â
âPeculiar dreams?â
âVery peculiar. I once dreamt that I went to put something in the oven, and there, curled up on the bottom shelf, was a tiny little kangeroo. And another time I dreamt that Charles had grown a long, drooping moustache.â
âNothing more peculiar than that?â
âIf you donât think a kangaroo in the gas cooker peculiar, I do.â
âI dreamt that Charles had grown a long, drooping moustacheâ
âPerhaps,â said Knox sadly, and wrote it down in his little book.
âShe looks very flushed and excited, doesnât she?â said the Linnet, when I got home. âWas it nice, darling?â
âIt was
lovely.
â
âHave you got back to the Bee and the Pollen yet?â