feel this thing going south, yet he pressed on, as always. âI donât think I could eat a baby anything. Except baby corn. Those things are so weird. Itâs like, are you real corn, or were you shrunk by a shrinking ray, or whatâs going on here?â
Krissyâs eyes darted to the security camera. âAm I on a reality show right now?â
âNo,â Max said. âWhy?â
âOkay. Um, here,â she said, tossing him a twenty-dollar bill and grabbing the plastic bag.
âBut itâs only twelveââ
âKeep the change!â She grabbed the elbows of the other two girls and plowed out the door, barely able to keep her giggles in as she relayed the tale of her encounter with the troglodyte cashier. Brown Ponytail threw a languid glance back at him as they left.
Audie emerged from her hiding place behind the motor oil, holding her stomach. âYou should be studied by scientists,â she said between laughs. âVeal?
Veal?
â
Max shrugged. This was nothing new. Humiliation in the face of the opposite gender was an unfortunate plague heâd simply had to get used to, like high milk prices or the continued existence of the Kardashians.
âSo what are you doing after you get back from the airport?â he asked Audie just as the door opened. He nodded hello at the new customer, a guy sporting heavy black eyeliner, several piercings, and a visible hangover. The man nodded back, making a beeline for the coffee machine.
âI donât know,â Audie replied with a shrug. âMaybe go see the new Michael Bay explodathon.â
âSpoiler alert: Everyone dies.â
Audie rolled her eyes, having grown sick of Maxâs standard spoiler-alert joke long ago. âWeâll see. I was gonna devote the day to
Madden
ââhere she cracked her knuckles as she always did at the mention of the game, like a Pavlovian responseââbut my Xbox is busted.â
Max gasped.
His voice dropped to a horrified whisper. âThe red ring of death?â
ââFraid so.â
Maxâs main fear in life was,
of course,
that his mother could drop dead at any given second . . . but if he was being completely honest, the prospect of the same thing happening to his Xbox struck him with an almost equal amount of terror. âWell, you can go play on mine if you want.â
âReally?â She did her Audie-is-super-excited-about-something hop, bouncing from one foot to the other. âKey still under the mat?â
âYep. Iâll call my mom and tell her not to bash the intruderâs head in.â
âThanks, man!â She lunged across the counter and gathered Max into a headlock. âAll is forgiven. As long as you come to my game next week.â
âIâll . . . see what I can do.â
âJust once before the season is over! Thatâs all I ask!â
âOkay, okay.â
âOr at the very least, come to the pep rally this Wednesday. You donât have any secret dates with fictional people on Wednesdays, do you?â
âI do not.â
âThen come.â She tossed the empty Slim Jim wrapper at him. âAnd thanks for the meats.â
âAny time.â
Audie laughed as she exited the store.
Guyliner brought his coffee up to the counter, his eyes bleared and tired. âAnd a pack of smokes. Whateverâs cheapest.â
âSure.â Max rang up the purchase and placed the cigarettes on the counter.
The guy let out a small laugh. âYou were there too?â
âHuh?â
He showed Max the back of his hand, which featured the faded slash of a black Sharpie. âAt the concert,â he said, nodding at the similar mark smeared across the back of Maxâs hand.
From the ash that floated up out of the hole.
Max hadnât noticed until just then that it was still there.
But I took a shower . . . ?
âKiller show, right?â the