behind?” She settled obediently against her pillows, but her eyes were shrewd as they examined my face.
I sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at my hands. “The fact that Deirdre and I are twins doesn’t mean we want the same things in our lives, Mother. I am happy to stay at home for now. There’s plenty of time.”
“You’re close to the same age I was when I wed your father,” Mother said with a faint smile. “But, of course, Sean and I had known each other since we were children. There was a time when I thought we would never be together, and my heart almost broke, Clodagh. Some folk say that kind of love burns itself out, that it can’t endure the trials and tests of ordinary life. But that isn’t true.”
There was a faraway look in her eyes now. I knew what she was not saying aloud: that her longing to give my father a son had cast a shadow over their life together, and that now, at last, she believed it was about to be lifted. “I hope Deirdre and Illann will find the same kind of happiness in time,” Mother went on. “They do seem very fond of each other already. Now here’s Eithne back, so off you go, Clodagh. I see that charming Aidan is in Johnny’s party again this year. He wasn’t the only young man who had his eye on you during supper, and that despite the fact you’ve dressed so plainly. You’re very considerate of Deirdre. I hope she appreciates what a good sister she has in you.”
I returned to the hall just as the meal was being cleared away. I slipped in the back, scanning the crowd to see where my sisters had got to. Deirdre had risen, her hand in Illann’s, ready to lead the dancing. She looked every inch a lady with her piled-up hair and dark russet gown. Father was in a corner talking with a group of men. Johnny, Gareth and Conor were all there, along with two of the invited chieftains, and they didn’t look as if they were discussing weddings. As I glanced at them I met the dark eyes of the unpleasant Cathal, who was standing on the fringe of the group, looking out over the hall. His gaze passed over me as if I were of no more interest than a piece of furniture, and a mightily boring one at that. I was mortified to feel my face flush, and turned away to look for my younger sisters.
It seemed one of Illann’s musicians was also a juggler. As the hall was prepared for dancing, this man kept the crowd entertained by tossing his five colored balls in the air while performing an increasingly challenging range of acrobatic tricks. Coll and Eilis were at the front of the group watching him. My youngest sister was looking uncharacteristically tidy in a gown I had sewn for her, pine green with an edging of rabbit fur around the sleeves. Her face was fierce with concentration. I knew Eilis well enough to recognize that she intended to master the art of juggling as quickly as possible, and in particular to be better at it than Coll.
Sibeal stood further back, her midnight blue gown helping her fade into the shadows. It was not so much that Sibeal was shy. With the right person, Ciarán for instance, she conversed fluently on any number of erudite matters. Like me, Sibeal loved stories and music. But she had always been different. Her abilities as a seer made her ill at ease in the company of folk like Illann’s family and the visiting chieftains, who would expect her to have the interests and opinions of an ordinary girl of twelve. Conor wanted her to wait until she was at least fifteen before she committed herself to the druidic life. I was happy that Sibeal would not go away for a few years yet. She was mature beyond her years, at times quite startlingly so, and made a good confidante. With my twin gone, I would be glad of her presence.
Under instructions from Deirdre, folk were moving the furniture to make room for dancing. Gods, I was tired. No wonder I had fallen victim to my own imaginings out in the forest earlier; I’d probably been walking along half-asleep. There was