French boy, well, not a boy, a man, but a young manââ
âMum! Does this have a point?â
âDonât be rude, flower. Men donât find it attractive when youâre rude. Yes, the point is that Max moved back to England and went back to work and had a massive hit last year, and she stopped over here yesterday on the way to Sydney for her new project and told me all about it. And I asked if there was room on her crew for my talented daughter!â
Producer? Hit? I wasnât so prideful to knock back a film job, even if it came from a friend of my mumâs. âWhat was her hit last year?â
âSweetness, you should guess!â
âMum, Iâm not guessing.â
âGo on! Guess!â
âArgh! Fine. Was it an indie flick? Or a mainstream movie?â
My mother fell apart in peals of laughter. âEven better than those! It was Erotic Island .â
âIâve never heard of it.â
âPrecious!â Mum sounded horrified. âHow is that possible? Everyone on the planet has at least heard of the island, and at least one billion people watched it.â
âWhat? What is this movie?â
â Erotic Island wasnât a movie, sweetie, it was a reality show.â
âTV? Reality TV?â I couldnât keep the sneer out of my voice.
Mum didnât notice. âIt was so wonderful! The Australian couple were just divine, and the royal boy and his African bride, and donât even get me started on the Japanese girl â¦â She sighed happily. âIâm so excited about the sequel.â
âSequel?â
âYes, schnookums, keep up. Max is in Sydney for EI2 , and she said she has a position for you as a crew member. You have to be at Circular Quay by six tomorrow morning. Oh, and take a bag; theyâre filming on board a ship! Isnât that exciting?â
âMum, Mum, slow downââ
âI know, I should have rung you yesterday, but I spent all day at the spa with the girls, and then we had a few too many, and my afternoon nap just finished now. But donât worry, itâs five there now, so youâve got all night to pack.â
âItâs five in the morning here,â I said, mind blown that my mother still couldnât understand time differences after all those years.
Mum squealed. âOh! Well, hurry, my gorgeous child. Get to the quay, ask for Max, and have a wonderful time. Love you, mwah, mwah! â
âMum, wait!â She was gone. âCrap!â I tried to call her back, but my phone slipped through my fingers and into a slimy puddle of Sydney rainwater. If I wasnât out of options before, I was now.
I slid down the wall and sat in a crumpled pile, contemplating my life. I hated reality TV with a passionâIâd promised myself when I started working as an AD that Iâd never do television full stop, let alone something as loathsome as those revolting shows.
But the girl who made those promises hadnât been homeless or broke. And, itâs on a ship â that means food and shelter, right? I can do anything for a few months. Get in, get paid, and get out. I just wonât put it on my resume when Iâm done.
I didnât even have a watch to look at, but I knew that Iâd have to run if I was going to make it. Standing up, I shrugged on my backpack and began to jog.
***
At five to six, I hit the quay, pounding along the same wooden boards Iâd walked the previous night with Tanner. Refusing to dwell, I saw the only ship at the moorings and sprinted faster, my veins pumping gluggy blood around my system.
Two men were raising the gangplank to the enormous cruise liner. âWait!â I yelled, desperate and waving. âWait! Iâm with the crew.â
They stopped, looking doubtfully at me as I screeched to a halt, Road Runner style. In my ripped, soggy clothes, topped by shagged hair and blood-shot sleep-deprived eyes, I