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relationship with François to come to an end. How could I? Give up being the exotic English-speaking Asian girl with the hot French boyfriend for my old single life of science geekdom in the States? What could be worse?
    I knew I was at a crucial point in my life. I knew that yes, I did have to return. There was no real possibility of staying in France after my year was up. I knew deep down that I not only had to finish my degree at Berkeley but I really wanted to finish my degree at Berkeley. But François could come with me, right? We could be together in the United States, and then we would decide what came next. Both of us held on to that dream for several months after I returned to school in California and started taking classes again. We were like a French and Japanese American version of Romeo and Juliet, with my parents playing the part of the disapproving family perfectly. Actually, my parents had enough disapproval between them to play the roles of both the Capulets and the Montagues. Every day, I wrote François long letters in French, telling him about everything that was so different in the States and all the things I missed about living in Bordeaux. We both wanted to keep our relationship alive, me with the hot French musician and he with the exotic Asian American girl who loved science.
    That dream lasted for several months, until one day reality knocked on my door and walked right in. Specifically, the reality of applying and attending graduate school arrived. I suddenly realized that it was unlikely that François could make a living tuning pianos in the United States, especially since he didn’t speak English. And most difficult for me to admit, I knew deep down that while I so enjoyed going out with him for the year that we were together, he was probably not the lifelong partner for me. Besides, what did I know at the ripe old age of twenty-one? He was the first serious boyfriend I had ever had.
    To this day, my last phone conversation with François is etched in my memory with great detail. I remember where I was sitting in my little studio apartment in Berkeley; I remember how I was sitting and holding the phone. Mostly I remember the pain, guilt, and discomfort I felt during that conversation, as if it happened yesterday. I did a terrible job breaking up with him and I knew it, but at that time I didn’t know any other way. I should have been more loving and understanding, and I should have explained the situation and my logic more clearly. Instead I felt pressured to get on with my life, and I was rude and abrupt with him. I know why I remember that call in so much detail. Emotion, either very negative, like the one that I was experiencing that day, or very positive, helps strengthen memories. One brain structure in particular, called the amygdala, which sits in the temporal lobe just in front of the hippocampus, is critical in the formation of strong memories from strong emotions. My amygdala was working overtime that day (you’ll learn much more about why we remember emotional events in the next chapter).
    That day, I chose science over François. It was a hard decision, and it took me months to recover. But I know now that it was a choice that shaped the rest of my life.

    THE STAR OF OUR EVOLUTIONARY BRAIN
    The prefrontal cortex (PFC), situated just behind the forehead, was the last part of the brain to evolve, and scientists agree that it sets humans apart from most other animals. The PFC is essential for some of our highest-order cognitive abilities, including working memory (defined as the memory we use to keep things in mind, also referred to scratchpad memory), decision making and planning, and flexible thinking. In essence, this is command central for all of our executive functions, which play a role in so much of what we do and how we think. You will see how the PFC has a role in applying new concepts to other learning situations, managing our stress response, and supervising our reward