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place that's fit for human use.'
    'You're making all this up. Even science can't let its jokes
go that far. You thought you'd astound Pupu-didi with your
made-up history of this island. You'd planned to dispose of your
luckless He by sending him sneezing round the island in theguise of a scientist. You’d describe how, by ceremonious head-wagging, I enraptured audiences with renditions of those prodigious lyric poems composed to celebrate the slaying of Ghatotkacha. 13 Maybe you’d even marry me off to some crawling, shoulder-waggling island beauty. As the mantras were recited, she’d waggle her head from left to right, and I’d waggle mine from right to left. You’d double the seven steps taken by the wedded couple to fourteen, like the lines of a sonnet. When the islanders filed into the Senate Hall 14 to sit for their exams in the Shoulder-Waggling language, you’d dump me in the corner. You’ve never shown me any mercy; you’d be sure to have me fail. But in their Sporting Club’s crawling race, you’d award me first prize. I’m warning you, if you imagine you can make Pupu-didi laugh with these stories, you’d better think again!’
    ‘Don’t jabber so. To make a particular class of people live longer, the sage Chanakya 15 advised, “The fool shall live so long as he does not say too much.” I believe you’ve learnt some Sanskrit?’
    ‘I’ve forgotten one and a half times what I learnt. A modern Chanakya wrote for the benefit of the whole world, “All heave a sigh of relief when the wise man shuts up.” You’d do well to remember it; it matches the earlier rhythm. Now I’m off. My advice is, leave off your scientific humour and try to be as childish as you can.’
    This story didn’t appeal to Pupu-didi at all. Wrinkling her brow, she objected, ‘Is it possible? How could you ever fill your stomach with snuff?’
    ‘But they started by dismissing the entire idea of the stomach,’ I reminded her.
    Pupu-didi seemed reassured. ‘Oh, did they really?’
    But the idea of not talking troubled her to the end. ‘Can one survive without talking?’
    I said, ‘The wisest pandit on the island has sent round notices written on leaves, to warn people of the danger of talking. He proved by census that all those who talked, died.’
    But a new question had occurred to Pupu-didi.
    ‘What about dumb people?’
    ‘The dumb didn’t die of talking, they died of tummy upsets or colds.’
    Pupu-didi thought this reasonable.
    ‘What do you think of all this, Dadamashai?’ 16
    I answered, ‘Some die talking, and some without talking.’
    ‘How would you like to die?’
    ‘I think I’ll go and live on Hoonhau Island for a while. On the Isle of Jambu, they nearly talked me to death, I can’t stand it any more.’
----
    13 Ghatotkacha : a character in the Mahabharata, the son of Bhima and his ogress-wife Hirimba. Ghatotkacha was slain by Karna on the fourteenth day of the battle of Kurukshetra.
    14 Senate Hall : a stately building (now pulled down) on the Calcutta University campus, used to hold examinations among other functions.
    15 Chanakya : a famous political theorist of ancient times; adviser to Chandragupta Maurya.
    16 Dadamashai : grandfather.

3
    HE HAS SENT ME A REPORT OF THE ACTIVITIES OF THE SOCIETY FOR THE Improvement of Jackal Behaviour. I intend to read it aloud in Pupu-didi’s company this evening.
     
    REPORT
    I was sitting in a field one evening, enjoying the fresh breeze, when a jackal suddenly approached me. He said, ‘Dada, you’re busy making men of your own offspring. What have I done to be left out?’
    I asked, ‘What can I do about that?’
    ‘I might be an animal, but can’t I aspire to the joys of life? I’m determined you shall make a man of me.’
    I thought it would be a worthy deed to rear this poor creature.
    I asked, ‘What made you decide this?’
    He answered wistfully, ‘If only I could grow up to be a man, I’d earn quite a name in jackal society. The other