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be
able to handle it. I’m thinking about how stupid I am for not
ending this, and I’m feeling like an addict who just can’t shake
her high. Always craving the drug. Always coming back for more.
Henry is my drug. I want to get high off of him.
     
    His palms brush against my stomach and
despite the scalding hot water, I’m shivering. One slip of the arms
later and he’s embracing me. He’s hot and his body against mine
warms me up. Makes me boil. I think I’m sweating in the shower. He
grabs my hair, staring down at me and I’ve never felt such a
powerful hold over me by another human being.
     
    He captivates me, mind, body, and soul. He
numbs my senses. Silences the words on my lips. I’m melting. His
free hand slides up around my neck and he cups the side of it. My
hands slide up his face. I hold his cheeks in my palms and I cry. I
cry hard. Tears flow like a flash flood.
     
    He grazes his fingertips across my face.
“Don’t cry,” he whispers, full of emotion. “Please.” He gets on his
knees and kisses my tears away.
     
    I’m having a hard time controlling myself and
I sob so hard I can barely breathe. “Promise me something,” I say
in between the sobs caught in my throat.
     
    “Anything.”
     
    “Promise you’ll never break my heart.”
     
    “I promise,” he swears.
     
    My love for him is deeper than the depths of
the ocean. Deeper than the Grand Canyon. Deeper than the depths of
emotion.
    “Promise you’ll always love me.”
     
    “I promise.”
     
    And in his own way I know he means it.

Chapter 8
     
    “ One of the hardest things in life is
watching the person you love, love someone else.”~ Author Unknown
~
     
    Half of my face is hidden—shielded by my
metal locker door. It’s been painted recently. Tan. The smell of
the paint still looms in the confined hallway and the musty scent
fills my lungs. I’m trying to be coy as I stare at Henry. He’s
standing across the hall at his locker with her—his girlfriend
Callie.
     
    He hasn’t acknowledged me at all today.
     
    There is a small part of me that wishes he
would notice me. Look at me, Henry. Please look at me. Yet at the
same time, I don’t want him to do anything obvious that she would
notice. Why? Because I want to keep him. In my pocket. In my head.
And right next to my heart.
     
    Breaking focus, my eyes shift to the floor
and the neutral colors in the tile blur in my peripheral vision. A
screechy feminine laugh throbs in my ears and I look up. Callie’s
chestnut hair bounces on her shoulders as her laughter dies
down.
     
    Henry smiles wide. The sight of his smile
cuts me open. He’s feeding on my soul and he doesn’t even know it.
I crumble as his radiant blue eyes sparkle. He’s only focused on
her. Gazing at her adoringly, he brushes his fingertips along her
cheeks and tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear.
     
    I exhale. I’d convinced myself that seeing
him with her wouldn’t bother me, but it does. I’d told myself that
even though he’d never show me any affection in public I’d be okay
with it, but I’m not. The hurt squirms inside of me like maggots
feeding off of a decayed carcass. I’m open. Exposed. I’m dying
inside and I do everything I can to hide it.
     
    “Hey!”
     
    The locker behind me slams and I jump.
Panting, I clutch my chest. “Rosa.” I catch my breath. “What the
hell?”
     
    “Dude. WTF. I like texted a million times and
called you last night. You pissed at me or something?”
     
    “No. Not at all.”
     
    “Then what’s with you ignoring me?”
     
    “I was just busy!” I snap.
     
    “Whoa! Someone’s got a lil PMS.”
     
    “I’m just on edge. I wasn’t ready to come
back to school.”
     
    “Who was? I’d rather be anywhere than
here.”
     
    Rosa peers around me and giggles, pushing her
red metallic framed glasses higher up on the bridge of her nose.
“What’s so interesting?”
     
    “Huh?”
     
    “What were you looking at? You looked like
you