Read He Loves Me...He Loves You Not for Free Online Page A

“Don’t ever say that
again!” he’s shouting over the chaos that’s going on in the
sky.
     
    “I’m sorry,” I say again. “So sorry.”
     
    We’re sopping and dirty. “Let’s go back to my
house,” he tells me.
     
    “Aren’t your parents’ home?”
     
    “No.”
     
    I wrap my arms around his neck and my head
falls into the curve. Then he scoops me up and carries me to the
car like a newlywed bride, being carried over the threshold.

Chapter 7
     
    “ I don't pretend to know what love is for
everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all
about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any
other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything
about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love
is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting
weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.” ~ Author
Unknown ~
     
     
    Henry’s room is a constant reminder of
something I’ll never have. All of him.
     
    There’s a picture of him and his girlfriend,
Callie Banfield, on his nightstand. I flinch and look away. It’s
too hard to look at it because every time I do, I imagine my face
in place of hers.
     
    My chest tightens. I’m freezing. Soaking.
Henry comes up behind me and rubs warmth back into me. He pushes my
hair aside and leans close to me. “You’re shivering.”
     
    He makes me shiver, shiver with delight.
     
    “Come on,” he tells me. He grips me by the
shoulders and directs me to his adjoining bathroom. “You’ll warm up
after a hot shower.”
     
    Water. More water. Clear pellets of liquid
refreshment rain down on me. I let some drip into my mouth then I
spit it out. I’m in the shower, fully clothed. I watch the dirt as
the brown residue washes away. Out of my hair. Off of my clothing
and into the drain. It washes away like Henry and the way he washed
away my innocence.
     
    I take my clothes off, all but my bra and
underwear, and toss them outside the shower. The door opens. Then
it closes. I peel back the curtain. Henry has taken my clothes.
He’d told me when we arrived he was going to wash them. He thinks
I’d have a hard time explaining to my mom how they got so
dirty.
     
    Dirty like me.
     
    I know what most people think about girls
like me. Home wrecker and whore are two of the names that always
sound off in my mind. Thinking of myself as either one of those
names doesn’t feel right because what I want people in general to
understand is that I am neither one.
     
    Our relationship progressed slowly. First,
he’d come over and we’d sit on the porch swing and talk. Then he
took me to a spot where we’d lay on the hood of his car and watch
the stars. Not long after that he gave me my first, real kiss and
sometime later, I gave him all of me.
    He’d told me about Callie half-way through
the summer, but I’d become so obsessed with him and just being with
him that I didn’t care. I’d told myself that some part of him was
better than no part of him. But some part of him is beginning to
break me. I want more. I need more. Because just like Callie, I’m
in love with him too.
     
    I touch my face. There’s still a dirty
residue, a remnant from when Henry touched my face with his dirty
hands . Dirty. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty but beautiful. My heart
goes up in flames when I think of that moment. Not even the water
raining down on me, cleansing my entire body can put the blaze
out.
     
    Music cuts into the soothing sound of the
water pouring on top of me. Jimi Hendrix. All Along The Watchtower.
Henry is back in his room. The music devours me. I’m caught up in
it. Classic rock. I close my eyes and let the sound of the guitar
whirl through me. And I’m so deeply into it that I don’t hear the
curtain open.
     
    Henry steps into the shower. His hands are on
my waist. I’m not even thinking about the way his touch feels.
That’s a first. I’m thinking about school tomorrow and if I’ll