about it a lot over the next few days. Weâd been in school a couple of weeks at this point. Jeremy had already made a lot of friends. He talked to them on the phone at night. I had a lot of time to think.
I even asked Dad about it. âTry not to be dense, Si,â he told me. âThereâs no such thing as ghosts, everybody knows that. Now chill out, will you, Iâm trying to explain something to your brother.â
So the answer was, no, I didnât believe in ghosts. But I also thought it might be more complicated than that, that maybe they were like characters in a good book. You arenât going to run into them at the Wal-Mart, but they seem real all the same. I figured ghosts might be something like that. The way I figured it, they had to be really desperate for something they hadnât gotten enough of while they were alive, like they were jealous or hungry or something. Otherwise why would they stick around some crummy old cemetery when they could go on to Heaven or whatever? So thatâs what I ended up telling Jeremy a few nights later, after Iâd finished sorting it all out inside my head.
âHungry?â he said. âChrist, Si, thatâs the stupidest thing Iâve ever heard.â He started thrashing around in his bed and making these dumb ghost noises. âOooooooh,â he said, and, âOoooooooh, Iâm a ghost, give me a steak. Ooooooooh, I want a bowl of Cheerios.â
I tried to explain that that wasnât what I meant, but I couldnât find the words. I was just a kid, after all.
âChrist, Si,â Jeremy said, âdonât tell anybody anything that stupid. Itâs like that stupid bear you drag around everywhere, it makes me ashamed to be your brother.â
I knew he didnât mean anything by thatâJeremy was always joking aroundâbut it hurt Mr. Fuzzyâs feelings all the same. âDonât cry, Mr. Fuzzy,â I whispered. âHe didnât mean anything by it.â
A few days later, Jeremy came home looking troubled. I didnât think anything about it at first because it hadnât been a very good day from the start. When Jeremy and I went down to breakfast, we overheard Day saying he was taking Momâs car in that afternoon, the way they had planned. Mom said something so low that neither one of us could make it out, and then Dad said, âFor Christâs sake, Mariam, thereâs plenty of one-car families in the world.â He slammed his way out of the house, and a few seconds later we heard Mom shut the bedroom door with a click. Neither one of us said anything after that except when Jeremy snapped at me because I was so slow getting my lunch. So I knew he was upset and it didnât surprise me when he came home from football practice that day looking a bit down in the mouth.
It turned out to be something totally different, though, because as soon as we turned out the light that night, and he knew we were really alone, Jeremy said, âWhat happened to that bundle of tools, Si?â
âWhat bundle of tools?â I asked.
âThat weird-looking shit you found in the basement last summer,â he said.
Thatâs when I remembered that Iâd put the bundle under my bed. What a crazy thing to do, I thought, and I was about to say Iâd taken themâbut Mr. Fuzzy kind of punched me. He was so sensitive, I donât think heâd really forgiven Jeremy yet.
I thought it over, and then I said, âBeats me.â
âWell, I went down the basement this afternoon,â Jeremy said, âand they were gone.â
âSo?â
âIt makes me uncomfortable, thatâs all.â
âWhy?â
Jeremy didnât say anything for a long time. A car went by outside, and the headlights lit everything up for a minute. The shadow of the crap-apple danced on the ceiling like a man made out of bones, and then the night swallowed him up. That one little