and a watering can complained that the environmentalists wouldn't even let him use fertilizer in his own garden, and now he didn't know how he was going to feed his children.
"But that doesn't seem fair!" Sandy said. "God gave all of us the earth to use. How come the environmentalists can tell the rest of us what to do with it?"
Then she looked out at the camera.
"Maybe you should all discuss that, while we take a short break."
Sandy stood flashing her hundred watt smile until the director finally said, "Great! I think we're done, people."
The puppeteers dropped their cuddly animals, and Sandy dropped the smile. A couple of her "people" rushed up to her: a beefy blond guy with a juice bottle, and a woman in her fifties who was reading something to her off a notebook. They trailed Sandy as she headed for the exit. I stepped out in front and pushed the door open for her.
"Miss Roberts?" I said, jogging backwards to stay in front of her. "Miss Roberts?"
"Yeah?"
I noticed that she had dropped the southern drawl along with the stage smile.
"I'm Natalie Blain, from Demographics. I normally wouldn't bother someone like you but..." I lowered my voice to a conspiratorial tone. "...but we really need to talk."
Sandy looked me over, doing a quick freak check. I must have passed, because she didn't tell the beefy guy to break my legs.
"Really?" she asked. "What have we got to talk about?"
"Well... I came across some stuff on the latest audience survey. And... do you know what Trent Reed is planning for you?"
That got her attention.
Sandy walked into her dressing room and waved for me to follow. She sat down at the makeup table and the beefy guy started massaging her shoulders. I made a mental note to look up his job description. The older woman stood by the door.
"So, what do ya know?" Sandy asked as she studied her own reflection in the mirror.
"Well... uh..." I stammered. Sandy glanced at me, and I eyed her entourage meaningfully. She shrugged and shooed them away.
"Satisfied?" Sandy asked, as the door closed.
"Sorry, it's just that a lot of people talk to Mr. Reed. And I don't want to lose my job."
Sandy wrinkled her forehead.
"So what's this all about?"
I took a deep breath.
"Well, like I said, I work down in Demographics. And um... well, you probably know this, but anytime the boys upstairs are thinking of a major change to a program, they start slipping things into the questionnaires that we e-mail out to the audience. You know, to try and predict their reaction to it."
I pulled out my notebook.
"Do they ever let you see raw polling results?" I asked.
"I know my approval ratings, that kind of stuff."
"But not the raw numbers, I'll bet. Not before they've had a chance to edit out what they don't want you to see."
Sandy gave a cautious shake of her head.
"No, I didn't think so. Well, this is the survey that they sent out last night." I handed her the notebook. "It probably doesn't look that out of the ordinary, unless you're used to reading these things and understand what the pollsters are really asking."
I leaned in and highlighted some parts of the screen for her.
"The interesting parts in this survey are questions 4, 11, 16, and 18."
Sandy read them over.
"#4. Rate the following people in terms of how much you like them.
#11. Rate the following people in terms of how much you trust them.
#16. Rate the following people in terms of how much you would enjoy spending an hour with them.
#18. Rate the following people in terms of how much you would like to have them as a friend."
She finished and shrugged.
"So?"
"So put two and two together. Stonewall knows that he's not coming back. At least not anytime soon. So he needs somebody that can take over his old job as the lead anchor on the evening news and the public face of the network. But it's got to