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pushes the box to
me. For me? I open the box and see a golf ball sized orb glowing
like a light bulb. Upon touching it, the ball disintegrates into my
fingertips. A tingling sensation rides through my hand and up my
arm until the feeling is gone.
    “ I’m
sorry.” I look up to Red. “I
didn’t mean to kill it.”
    “ Those are
funny first words,” Red laughs.
    First
words? I haven't said a word
until now.
    "You seem to
understand that it's living. It’s not dead, Gabriel. It's
alive inside you. For now it will ensure your seasonal transition
from one way to another more quickly. You'll keep it until you
don't need it. When you understand who you really are, you can give
it away.
    "Give it
away ? But it's inside me." How
can something be sucked into me like that? People are lured to me;
I take and take but never give. Giving means getting close, it
means...
    "Don't be
afraid to let your true self out."
    The thought is
frightening. Being close is the worst thing I could ever do. I
can't burden anyone ever again, especially because of what I did to
mom and Josh. Red is mistaken; he can't possibly understand what
it's like to only take.
    Blood drips down Red's forehead. His fingers
touch the blood and Red looks at it with a worrisome
expression.
    " You're
bleeding."
    Red fakes a
smile as if the bleeding didn't matter. "One more thing, Gabriel—"
in an instant, a girl comes to my mind. An older girl with thick
brown wavy hair, brown eyes and a smile to die for brings a strange
feeling that I care for her, but can't place a single memory of
ever meeting her. How can I care for someone I don't
know?
    The
light in the shop
flickers.
    "She'l l be looking for
you." Red shuts his eyes. More blood drips from his forehead.
"Trust her, Gabriel."
    I suddenly feel sick. Something about
the atmosphere changed. I look behind him. The black substance is
suddenly covering everything in the shop, inching closer like black
lava. Red's nose bleeds. He falls back against the
bookcase.
    "Gabriel, don't be
afraid, it's only you." Red's voice is weak.
    I clench the box in my hands, looking
for an exit, but there's nowhere to go. The black stuff reaches
behind the shop keeper's counter, creeping up the walls. It's going
to swallow me up. The antique shop goes dark. I tremble as the
substance grabs hold of my ankles and creeps up my legs. Unable to
move, I shout for Red. My arms stretch out in the direction behind
the counter where he had stood. The warm sticky substance covers my
body until I feel it swallow my head and force its way into my
mouth.
    I wake up sweating and my heart beats
out of my chest. I've never felt so relieved to be in my room. I
can't shake the feeling someone is watching me. I search the room,
but the inspection turns up empty. An instinctual feeling that
something actually happened to me nags me at the back of my
mind . A tingling sensation runs up my arm
and down my spine like that strange ball of light in my strange
dream.

Chapter Five
     
    Gabriel
     
    G oing to school is a bad idea , but I need to see Josh.
I need to explain. I need
to re connect our
friendship somehow . I know it's
impossible to salvage but I want to at least try. I'd run into Josh
sooner or later . Th e whole day was a
bust ; Josh didn't show for his classes.
    After
school , I figure we 'd meet at the bookstore. I'm haunted by the idea of not being
friends with him. I'd be alone, talk to no one and never visit the
Masterson home again. I was friends with him the longest and it
breaks my heart to think we can never be friends again. How will I
confront him?— Sorry
I made you want to have sex with me. It sounds so stupid.
    I stand in front of the bookstore like an
idiot. I lean against the wall, debating on going inside because I
can't go home. I decide to go in considering the odds of seeing
him; dealing with Josh is better than dealing with my psychotic mom
and perverted stepfather.
    I drop
my book bag on the floor
thinking about how we could