Read Gooney Bird and All Her Charms for Free Online Page A

whispered.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œHe’s
bones
,” Keiko said in a very nervous voice.
    All of the children looked startled. Even Mrs. Pidgeon cringed a little. “Oh dear,” she said. “Mr. Furillo? What do you think?”
    â€œNah,” Mr. Furillo reassured them. “I wouldn’t trust him if you put real food on that dish. Like pizza, or a burger. If you turned your back he’d grab it. Remember that time a first-grader dropped his hot dog?”
    â€œJason. He’s that kid with curly hair. I remember that. Bruno ate it in one gulp and Jason cried,” Malcolm said. The other children nodded. They all remembered it. Jason had cried
loudly
.
    â€œBut look at him. He sniffed around, but nothing smelled good to him. He’ll be okay. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Mr. Furillo said.
    â€œI guess Bruno didn’t find that humerus!” Gooney Bird said.
    â€œHuh?” Mr. Furillo looked puzzled.
    â€œNothing. It’s just a joke.”
    â€œHere come the signs!” Mrs. Pidgeon announced. Tyrone and Felicia Ann appeared with Mrs. Clancy, who had brought her tape dispenser.
    The second grade went to work. In a very short time, all of the signs were taped neatly in place.
    On the door to the multipurpose room, one read:
    Â 
    COME SEE NAPOLEON
    DIGEST HIS DINNER!
    Â 
    On one side of the table where Napoleon was sitting, a sign read:
    Â 
    WHEN NAPOLEON CHEWS,
    HIS FOOD GETS MIXED WITH SALIVA.
    IT TURNS INTO MOOSH SO HE CAN SWALLOW IT.
    Â 
    â€œOnce I gave one of my triplets a chicken nugget but he didn’t know how to chew it, and he choked,” Malcolm said. “So my mom grabbed him and turned him upside down and thumped on his back, and the chicken flew out onto the floor, and he was okay.”
    â€œWhat did your mom do to
you
?” Chelsea asked.
    â€œWell, she said she felt like turning me upside down and thumping on me, but she didn’t.”
    â€œYou learned a good lesson,” Mrs. Pidgeon said. “No more chicken until they’re older, right?”
    Malcolm nodded. “Only moosh. That’s all they eat. Plus Cheerios.”
    The second sign read:
    Â 
    THE MOOSHED FOOD GOES
    DOWN HIS ESOPHAGUS . . .
    Â 
    They taped that one to the other side of the table, and below it they taped the third sign:
    Â 
    . . . INTO HIS STOMACH. THERE IT GETS MOOSHED AROUND MORE. AND IT GOES NEXT TO . . . FOLLOW THE ARROW—>
    Â 
    â€œThis part is so cool!” Ben said.
    â€œI don’t think so,” Keiko replied, making a face. “I don’t like this part.”
    The arrow on the sign pointed toward the wall of windows. On the floor below the windows, Mr. Furillo had carefully laid a long green garden hose. It extended from the corner of the room all the way along the side wall, halfway to the kitchen entrance. In the spring he would use it to water the shrubbery beside the front steps of the school. But now, in March, he didn’t need the hose. It had been rolled up in his utility room until today.
    On the windowsill above the hose, they taped the fourth sign:
    Â 
    NAPOLEON’S SMALL INTESTINE.
    IT IS 20 FEET LONG.
    INSIDE HIM, IT IS ALL CURLED UP
    LIKE A SNAKE.
    Â 
    â€œI wish we didn’t say the snake part,” Keiko murmured.
    Gooney Bird tried to make her feel better. “It’s just like a garden snake,” she told Keiko. “Harmless. Not a cobra or anything.”
    But Keiko still looked nervous. She felt her own abdomen with one hand.
    â€œLook at the next sign!” Tyrone said excitedly. “Look! I made it rhyme!”
    Sure enough. The next sign, on the next windowsill, said:
    Â 
    NUTRITIOUS STUFF GOES TO HIS BLOOD
    AND SWIMS AROUND LIKE IN A FLOOD.
    Â 
    â€œGood rhyming, Tyrone!” Gooney Bird said.
    â€œI could do a whole rap about the human body! I could teach you guys the moves!” Tyrone closed his eyes and moved his feet.
“The