Read Goodbye, Janette for Free Online

anything from your friends in Berlin about Wolfgang?”
    “Not a word,” he said.
    “I’m worried about him,” she said. “It’s been more than two months.”
    “I’m sure that he’s all right. If anything had gone wrong, I would have heard. By now he’s probably out of the country.”
    “I hope so,” she said.
    “Call me as soon as you have the papers in order,” he said.
    “I will,” she said, putting down the telephone.
    The door opened and Janette came into the room. She was waving a paper in her hand. “
Maman!
” she exclaimed in French. “Look at this drawing of a bird that I made. The professor gave me an
A
. He said he has never seen a bird like it.”
    She took the paper from the child’s hand. The professor was right. There never was a bird like it. Except maybe in nightmares. It was a cross between a pterodactyl, an eagle and a bat, all in bold vivid frightening colors.
    “Isn’t it beautiful?” Janette exclaimed.
    Tanya nodded. “Very.” She gave it back to the child. “You’d better put it in a safe place so that you don’t lose it.”
    “I would like to put it in a frame and hang it on the wall over my bed.”
    Tanya forced a smile. “All right.”
    “You were speaking in French on the telephone,” Janette said. “Who were you talking to?”
    Tanya picked the child up. Now was as good a time as any to tell her. “Mama is getting married.”
    Janette’s face broke into a happy smile. “Papa General is coming back?”
    “No,” Tanya said. “We’re going back to Paris to live. I’m marrying Maurice.”
    A startled expression crossed Janette’s face then suddenly she began to cry. “No,
Maman
, no! I don’t like him. He’s a bad man.”
    “He’s not a bad man,” Tanya said patiently. “He’s very nice. You’ll see. He likes you very much.”
    “He does not!” Janette cried. “He hates me. He always pinches me when you’re not looking and he hurts me.”
    “He doesn’t mean to hurt you,” Tanya explained. “It’s just his way of showing that he likes you.”
    “No, it’s not!” Janette said emphatically. “I can tell from his face that he wants to hurt me, and when I don’t cry out he pinches even harder.” She began to cry again. “I don’t want you to marry him. I want you to marry Papa General.”
    “I’m sorry, Janette,” Tanya said firmly, putting her down. “There are some things you know nothing about. I am going to marry him, and that’s the last word I’ll have on the subject. Now you go up to your room and calm down.”
    Still sobbing, the child went to the door. At the door, she turned back, wiping her nose and face with her forearm. “I don’t care,” she said defiantly. “Even if you marry him, I still won’t like him.”
    They were married three weeks later, and despite the fact that Tanya had bought Janette a new white dress for the wedding, she refused to go to the registrar’s office with them.
    ***
    She stared at herself in the mirror. She still was not used to seeing herself with blond hair. In a strange fashion she almost felt as if she had become someone else. Before she had felt her sexuality as subtle and quiet. Now it was overt and strong, almost as if it had a force of its own—a force she could not control.
    Slowly she brushed her hair, feeling the soft sensuality of each silken strand. She paused, looking in the mirror. Something wasn’t just right. Then she knew. The white silk gown she had chosen for her wedding night was all wrong.
    She turned to the small valise she had packed to take to the hotel. Quickly she went through it. A moment later she had changed gowns. Now when she looked in the mirror she understood the impulse that had made her place the black lace gown in the valise. Now she was different. Now she was someone else. The thought jumped through her mind. Lilith.
    Again she looked at herself. Now she was ready. Suddenly she felt her legs begin to tremble and placed both hands on the sink to