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call Dr. Hartley and tell him I’m coming,” I snarled at the audience we’d gathered. “Bobbi, dammit, get in the cruiser. Myrna’s gonna have to close up for you. Delbert, stop crying, you’re not dying yet. You’re both under arrest.” I glared at them all. “Anyone else wanna come for a ride?”
    You could hear the flowers bloom, it was that quiet.
    I flung myself into the cruiser, along with two prisoners, and my cat. I used the radio to warn Kim what was coming, then slammed the accelerator to the floor.
    ***^***
    I didn’t have a concussion, just one huge nasty bruise. Delbert needed stitches and antibiotics. By the time Maury came to my office, the word had spread over half the county, and Aunt Marge had already arrived with a cold compress and some healing vegetable broth. “My poor Lil,” she crooned, checking the swelling on my face. She shot Delbert a look that ought to have deep-fried him on the spot.
    Maury took off his ball cap and rubbed his ever-growing bald spot. “Miz Turner, your pardon,” he said, then nodded his apologies to Kim as well. “But God-gol-damn it, Del, what the hell were you thinkin’? You hit a woman! And a sheriff!”
    “Her fucking cat,” Del began, but Maury put a hand through the bars and slapped Del’s mouth.
    “Watch your language, boy.”
    “Her damn cat…”
    “Lil, did he lay hands on you?”
    I had to be fair. “Yeah. Twice.”
    “Jeeez- us !” Maury exclaimed. Then he scrubbed his hand over his face. He and Delbert owned and operated Morse Sanitation and Disposal, our local resource for getting rid of waste of all kinds. He couldn’t really afford to leave Del in jail, much as he might want to. Finally he heaved a big sigh. “What’s the bail?”
    “He hit a cop,” I told Maury. “It’s gotta go to Harry Rucker.” I paused, grinned a little to myself. “And you know Bobbi’s kin to him.”
    “Jeez- us ,” Maury repeated. He looked like he had my headache. It didn’t matter Bobbi had jumped Delbert. Delbert had laid hands‌—‌well, hand‌—‌on her trying to get her off, and there are rules you don’t break. Not in Crazy.
    Aunt Marge added nastily, “And to Chief Rucker.”
    Maury’s face scrunched. “Lord,” he mumbled.
    Tom Hutchins cleared his throat. He has a big open face and a big open build, the kind you see in guys who leave the hard-body military and soften up a bit. “Mayor? Might be it’d be easier if Del there dropped his charges against Bobbi. She was trying to help the sheriff, after all.”
    Del opened his mouth to protest. I shrugged. Technically, I was the one who’d brought the charge, but I’d drop it if Del would. And Harry would play ball. Our county doesn’t have the money to pursue every criminal charge to the fullest extent of the law. If it did, Eddie Brady would be doing hard time to life.
    “I had to get stitches,” Del whined, but without much conviction. “All right, all right. She’s a bitty little thing, didn’t hardly hurt me anyhow.”
    Bobbi huffed, not unlike Boris. He owed a fat lip and bloody nose to her, and she wanted credit.
    “You just wait till Lucy gets hold of you,” Maury warned. “You’ll be glad to spend the night nice and safe in jail.”
    I cringed. Lucy was Del’s wife, and she’d skin him alive. If he was lucky.
    I gathered up Boris. My head hurt, I had Colliers to cope with, and I’d had to arrest my best friend. It was time to go home.
    ***^***
    I slept twelve hours, and woke up chipper. My face looked like I’d forgotten to take off Halloween make-up, but I didn’t care. Delbert looked worse.
    I gave Boris his morning tuna and kibble, then spent a few minutes cooing at him where no one could hear before we headed to the office. Bobbi had been released on her own recognizance by Harry’s authority‌—‌we knew she’d show for her hearing‌—‌and Del had been bailed out by Maury and left to his wife. It promised to be a quiet morning, just what I