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it. “The Sabbath is Sunday,” she says.
    â€œNot if you’re Jewish.”
    â€œYou’re not Jewish. Besides, if you’re Jewish the Sabbath is Saturday, and today is Tuesday.”
    â€œWe are aware of that.”
    â€œThen you
know
it’s not the Sabbath,” she says, as if she’s proved her point.
    â€œWe are Chutengodians,” I say, making up the name on the spot. “Chutengodians celebrate the Sabbath on Tuesday.”
    â€œChattenoogians?”
    â€œChutengodians. It’s a religion.”
    â€œOh. Is that what you were talking about the other day? At TPO? The ten leggy thing?”
    â€œTen
legged
,” I say.
    â€œIt sounds like something you just made up.”
    â€œBlasphemy!”
    â€œSo what kind of religion is it?”
    â€œThe one true faith.”
    â€œIs it, like, a cult?”
    â€œNot exactly.”
    Have you noticed that Magda and I are doing all the talking? Dan just stares at her like a lovesick dolphin, while Shin is paralyzed, in a world of his own. Dan is afraid to open his mouth because he knows he’ll say something stupid, and Shin—well, Shin is so terrified of girls he’s probably just hoping he won’t crap in his pants. That’s why what happens next is so bizarre.
    â€œWhat do you worship?” Magda asks.
    â€œThe Ten-legged One,” says Shin in a voice deeper than I’ve ever heard from him.
    We all look at him, startled. He is staring at Magda with the sort of intensity he usually reserves for gastropods.
    Magda says, “Is it some sort of giant spider?”
    â€œDo not mock that which you do not understand,” says Shin, still with the deep voice.
    Dan catches my eye; I shrug. I quit trying to explain Shin years ago.
    â€œI’m not mocking,” says Magda.
    â€œWell for you then that you are not,” Shin intones. “For he is a jealous and vindictive god.”
    â€œOh.” Magda is giving Shin a cautious look. We all are. “What does he look like?”
    â€œHe is a god of many legs.”
    â€œTen?”
    â€œPrecisely. He is a Great and Powerful God.”
    â€œHow come I’ve never seen him?”
    â€œBut you have,” says Shin.
    I am wondering, who
is
this guy? He must be channeling a character from some video game. Probably seeing Magda Price as a collection of pixels. We all have our coping strategies.
    Shin says, “You see him every day. In fact, you may look upon his holy visage now, if you dare.” He points out the window at the silver dome of the tower rising above the buildings and trees.
    Magda dares to look.
    Shin says, “He is silver, he is proud, he glitters in the sun …”
    â€œOmigod, are you talking about the
water tower
?”
    â€œThe Ten-legged One,” Shin says, correcting her.
    â€œYou guys are worshipping a
water tower
?”
    I decide to step in. “Think about it, Magda. What is the source of all life on Earth? Water. And where does water—”
    I am just getting started when Magda interrupts me. “Can I join?”
    â€œI thought you were a good little Catholic girl.”
    â€œCan’t I be Catholic and Chutengodian at the same time?”
    Like I said, Magda can’t stand to be left out of anything.
    Shin looks doubtful. “I’m not sure that females are permitted.”
    I frown and stroke my chin for effect. “I see no reason why the CTG should not admit one such creature. However, she is a rather small specimen.” I look at Dan. “What do you think, First Acolyte Exaltus?”
    Dan says, “We wouldn’t want to be accused of sexual discrimination.”
    â€œTrue,” I say. “Also, we may require breeding stock.”
    Magda’s eyes grow wide. She grabs my Brainblaster and dumps it in my lap. I jump up with a howl, brushing crushed ice from my sodden crotch.
    â€œAre you crazy?” I yell.
    Dan is doubled over, laughing