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modern communication? “We try to maintain a semblance of privacy in this family,” I said. I put the phone back in Lily’s discarded backpack.
    “Don’t you care that she has a boyfriend?”
    “What makes you think that?’
    “The fact that some guy named Chase texts her constantly.”
    “Maybe he’s a friend.”
    Anna rolled her eyes at my ignorance.
    “If it’s serious, I’m sure we’ll meet him eventually,” I said.
    “Maybe at the wedding,” Anna retorted. She returned to her orange stars and green clovers.
    I discovered that Matt had already made coffee. I poured myself a cup and stood by the window, gazing out at the maple tree in our yard. Its scarlet leaves usually made me feel joyful in the fall, but now they reminded me of the cold barrenness that would inevitably follow.
    Why did I feel so disappointed?
    Did I really expect my encounter with Dr. Stewart to somehow be meaningful? My mood probably stemmed from the knowledge that, now that this distraction was over, I would have to return to the more practical pursuit of finding semi-gainful employment.
    I located the laptop where Mackenzie had left it on the back of the toilet and sat down in the living room to log onto job listing sites. I saw nothing new. If I was going to change my life, I would need to be bold and aggressive.
    I heard the back door open and Matt pour himself a cup of coffee. He came into the living room, leaves still clinging to his sweatshirt. I watched the steam rise from his cup. “Lily doesn’t have practice this morning?” he asked.
    “Sunday.” Matt was hopeless at keeping up with the girls’ schedules. “Are you still taking Lily and Anna to the football game this afternoon?”
    “That’s the plan.” I felt a twinge of jealousy. Now that Lily drove herself to practice, I barely spent time with her anymore.
    “Matt, I just don’t know what to do about this job search. Nothing seems right for me.”
    “What do you want to do?”
    “I don’t know. That’s the problem.”
    He took a long sip of coffee. “I still don’t understand why you’re even looking for a job. We’re doing fine.”
    “You’re doing fine,” I said. “I need something more than this.”
    “You could wait until the girls are a little older. You’ll have more free time then.”
    I shut the computer and frowned at him. “I’ll be 55 when Mackenzie goes to college. I’ll be lucky to find a job as greeter at Wal-Mart.”
    Matt sighed. “All right, well I’m going out to fix that shelf in the garage.”
    I watched him turn and leave. Matt kept himself occupied with work and home projects. I’m sure it was much easier for him emotionally than having to deal with a house full of girls.
    ~*~
    That afternoon, Matt rounded up Lily and Anna. I watched them join a throng of college students dressed in school colors and gripping plastic cups of beer heading down the sidewalk towards the university’s football stadium.
    Mackenzie, who had little interest in sports, spectator or participatory, was already on a play date at a friend’s house. I straightened up a little, considered returning to the job search, but instead went upstairs and got back into bed. The house was warm but it felt good to pull the covers over me and hide inside their comforting cocoon.
    My thoughts strayed again to last night’s gathering at Dr. Stewart’s house. I envied his students, who all seemed passionate and dedicated to their work. Of course, who knew what self-doubts they silently harbored.
    As for Ashland Stewart, I suspected there was more beneath his penetrating eyes and confident demeanor. Did archeology make him happy? The Wikipedia entry didn’t mention him remarrying after his first wife’s death. Perhaps, like Matt, he escaped into work so he wouldn’t have to deal with more complicated relationships.
    I don’t know how long I dozed, but when I awoke, I recognized a familiar itch deep in my groin. I’d noticed about a year ago that I didn’t