Read Giving It Up for Free Online

bed.
    “And you’re…cool with that?” I asked.
    He scowled. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
    I had my doubts. This whole night seemed like a dream. A strange nightmare-turned-fantasy dream. That guy had been the worst, but then I always expected the worst. What I hadn’t expected, what had never happened before, was being saved. Being protected, carried away by a freaking knight in a white truck.
    Suddenly I needed a shower. What had been acceptable earlier tonight—that man’s hands on me—now felt entirely wrong. Their very imprint defiled me, and by extension Colin.
    “I need to shower,” I blurted out.
    Colin nodded like this pinball of a conversation was completely normal. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
    I wondered if he’d really be there when I got out. Maybe he’d think about my issues or just the fact that I came with a kid and bolt out the door the second the water started. The thoughts churned my stomach, but if he left, it would be for the best. Definitely for him.
    The water shocked my system. This is really happening, it berated me, so stop fucking around. And I wanted this, wanted Colin, wanted so many things that I didn’t have a right to. But no matter how little I deserved it, I could never stop hoping.
    I threw on my softest T-shirt and sweatpants and shuffled into the living room, afraid of what I would find. What I found was Colin with practically a party platter at the kitchen table.
    Deli meat and cheese, grapes, and crackers decorated a couple of plates. I recognized it all from my fridge, taken out of packages and laid out like this was a soiree instead of a crummy apartment in Stone Park.
    “Thought you might be hungry,” he said.
    My stomach grumbled its agreement. “I have to pick up Bailey first. My daughter.”
    “Oh,” he said. “Your car is—”
    “She’s just upstairs,” I said. “My friend can take me to get my car tomorrow.”
    “I’ll have someone drive it back. Don’t worry.”
    And for some reason I didn’t. Worrying was a well-worn shoe for me, but in the surreal dark of this night I accepted his word. I accepted him. He’d have someone drive it back. I shouldn’t worry. I was safe.
    Shelly was groggy when she let me in. “How’d it go?” she mumbled.
    “Brought a man back.”
    Her eyes snapped open, full alert. “What?”
    She’d been the one to teach me the rules. And by teach, I meant she’d drilled them into me, her lessons replete with stories of women who hadn’t followed the rules. Even though most everyone at the club held their hookups at their apartments, it wasn’t the safe way to play. And considering I had Bailey and also that my dates tended to be assholes of the first order, I played it safe. Relatively speaking.
    “Well, he brought me back, technically. I think I’m going to”—what the hell had we agreed to?—“well, to see him again.”
    Shelly inspected me for a long moment as the suspicion faded from her face and a knowing smile bloomed. “You are, huh?”
    “Shut up,” I said, though I was more embarrassed than mad. “I didn’t agree to marry the guy.”
    The light of laughter gleamed in her eye. “What’s his name?”
    “Colin,” I grumbled.
    She sang under her breath. “Allie and Colin, sitting in a tree…”
    “Oh, great. You’re in first grade.” I marched into the bedroom to fetch Bailey, ignoring Shelly’s tinkle of laughter behind me. And continued ignoring her smirk as I passed her on my way out, laden with a sleeping baby girl.
    Shelly’s soft voice followed me down the stairs before she shut the door. “Then comes Bailey in a baby carriage.”
    Back in my apartment, I slipped past the kitchen and carried Bailey straight to her bedroom, where she settled immediately. The faded pink toddler bed was old and used, but it had a certain charm. Something old-fashioned and innocent. As soon as I’d seen it at Goodwill, I’d spent too much money on it. It didn’t fit with the rest of my sparse