Read Given (Give &Take) for Free Online

seriously be asking me that. You think I pretend when I’m with you? Why the hell would I do that?”
    Rachael turned away from me, took a deep breath, and blew it out hard. “It’s been a long day. Let’s just get back to the hotel.”
    “Fine.”
    I didn’t try to take her hand as we walked back in silence. Was I being irrational? Hell, I didn’t know. I’d always let my instincts guide me. They were telling me to protect the people I loved. How could that be wrong?

    Back at the hotel, Rachael locked herself in the bathroom and took a shower. She must not have realized how thin the walls were, because I heard her sobbing.
    I sat on the foot of the bed and stared at my reflection in the mirror over the dresser. “You know what she wants, you asshole. Give her the damn ring and make her happy.”
    Before I could argue with Mirror Me, I knelt beside my suitcase, unzipped the compartment in the bottom, and held the black velvet box in the palm of my hand.
    The water shut off in the shower.
    She’d be out any minute.
    My eyes stayed glued to the ring box. Could I do this? Here? Now?
    The bathroom doorknob turned.
    I panicked and shoved the ring box back into the suitcase.
    No. Not here. Not now. This was all wrong. We’d been fighting. She’d think the only reason I was proposing was because of our argument on the way back to the hotel. Plus, this wasn’t the romantic spot I’d pictured.
    “What are you looking for?” she asked, rubbing her wet hair with a towel.
    “Um, making sure I brought my toothbrush.” I grabbed my toothbrush and pulled it out, smiling.
    She nodded, unaffected. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
    Shit. She was emotionally drained. It was written all over her face in the circles under her puffy eyes and the red splotches on her cheeks. I should just give her the damn ring.
    The entire time I showered, I debated with myself. I could order champagne and strawberries—no, brownie sundaes—from room service and snuggle up in bed with her and our dessert and give her the ring. But we’d had dessert on the boat.
    I lathered soap on my chest and down over my stomach. The desperate feeling was making me crazy.
    No, not tonight. I had to keep trusting my instincts. Tonight was not the night to ask Rachael to marry me.

Eight
Rachael
    I woke up the next day sweating, with Merrick wrapped around me. He was like sleeping with a toaster oven. I’d fallen asleep while he was showering the night before and didn’t even remember laying my head on the pillow.
    In the streams of light filtering in through the filmy curtains, I ran my eyes up the strong arm wrapped around me. The bittersweet feeling broke my heart. I wanted to be held in his arms forever, but it seemed like it would never happen.
    I knew it was early in our relationship to be thinking about forever and that it might not happen for us, but I knew his mind as well as his heart. If he needed to have the perfect world before he proposed, he never would. Perfect worlds don’t exist. He’d never understand that.
    So I either waited, or… Leaving him was unbearable to even consider.
    Why was I doing this to myself? To us? Here we were in Paris, our relationship was in a wonderful place, and I was pushing and pushing him for more. Why?
    If I really let myself examine my feelings, I could admitI was afraid. I hadn’t had enough time to be the most important person in his life, and now with MJ and Nadia, it seemed I’d always be second—third—best.
    I turned my head and studied his face, his peaceful, sleeping face. He even looked strong and confident with his eyes closed, his long lashes splayed underneath them. My eyes traced his wide lips. I knew what they felt like on my own. His close beard felt prickly through my hair when he kissed the top of my head. I could feel the memory of it, and my scalp tingled. I’d explored his body, from his toes to the top of his head. Kissed, tasted, pleasured every inch.
    He was mine. All I wanted was to