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say anything, just looked away, then back at me. I ignored him, then stood up as I began to understand. “Don’t it change?” I said. Then there was a long pause as Ilooked harder at him. He snapped his glance back towards me, but I turned away and got up to rattle the coffee pot around. I went and just set a bowl and spoon in front of him and turned back to the stove. Times like that I looked at your father like the mom with the town’s slow kid watching the other boys and girls run and play around the pool. Wasn’t nice. Wasn’t womanly. Wasn’t manly.
    After that, I went on to see Lori, your dad’s friend Stan’s wife that afternoon, wanting out of that house.
    â€œStan says you’re gonna quit your job,” Lori said. “He heard Ray is gonna ask you to quit. I tell you, me and Stan have gotten along much better since I left work. At first we figured the extra money would be nice, but then Stan and I started fighting all the time and it wasn’t worth it to me. He kept telling me all this crap about how his mother never had to work. Well, I told him his father worked for the old R.H. Reeve Company factory, but that didn’t faze him one bit. So I quit. It’s better now, better I guess. Anyways, how’s Earl? I saw him the other day. He came by looking for Rob.”
    â€œHe did?”
    â€œYeah, ’cept, Rob was still working. He’s still getting over losing that scholarship chance to play at Ohio State. Making decent starting money at the factory though, so it ain’t all bad.”
    We was taking a walk, and Lori caught the toe of her shoe on an uneven section of the sidewalk.
    â€œSissy, you keep a secret?”
    â€œSure, a’ course Lori.”
    â€œUm, you and Ray thinkin’ of another kid?”
    â€œNo. I mean, no, not just right now. Ray, see, well, it’s not easy to say, but…”
    â€œSissy, I’m late.”
    â€œReally? You and Stan happy about that?”
    â€œI’m thinking we are. I mean, sure, we are.”
    â€œYou alright Lori?”
    â€œI’m okay.”
    â€œLori, does Stan yell at you?”
    â€œLike when he’s mad about dinner?”
    â€œNo, no, like just because he’s mad about something but you can’t figure what it is.”
    â€œSometimes. Sometimes he’s just angry. Something gets angry inside of him. Like bad food or something grumbling in there. Just angry. Ya know Sissy?”
    â€œI do. I do know.”
    Y OUR DAD AND I went to where I worked, for dinner, ’cause I got an employee discount. He was trying to make nice with me that night and knew going out to eat would help. We started well enough being just polite but finished the meal in silence. Sometimes after you been married a while you just run out of things to say, need to rest up. That’s okay. The waitress brought over the check. Your Dad inspected it, then put it back down on the table. I picked up the check and re-added it out of waitressin’ habit, my lips moving slowly as I concentrated. I reached into my purse for the money and handed it to your dad like he liked me to do. I was trying too to make nice.
    â€œWell, thanks for a fine meal,” he said, winking at the waitress behind the register. “Just like home.” She smiled and counted out change. Your dad pocketed it, walked out, and we had to argue again.
    â€œBut you work there.”
    â€œRay, please.”
    Your dad handed me the change. I walked in and put a tip on the table, avoiding the other waitresses as I passed through the room, wishing I was a ghost. I was hoping they thought he’d just forgot it but they probably just remembered the last time when he must’ve forgot too. But I stayed quiet about it, like I thought a real ghost might.
    I REMEMBERED, SITTING there on the bus, that my dad came up to my room that night, after they’d come home.
    â€œYour mother says we should have a