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you’re gonna reschedule,” she said, handing me the Post-it note with great handwriting.
    â€œI may or may not. Teddi, let it go. Come on, you’re my girl. I know we wanna do stuff together, and we will. But we’re still individuals. We gotta make our own way.”
    â€œYou know a lot of things, Hailey Grant, but you don’t have to go to other rushes to see that the other sororities don’t compare to BGP. But don’t take it from me. Go.”
    An hour later, while I was at the Rho Tau Nu rush, all they were talking about was how they wished they were doing this like the Betas and they wished they were doing that like the Betas. I realized they needed to stop wishing and get up and do something. The image of them around campus was that they were made up of a bunch of insecure girls. As I looked around the room, it wasn’t ugliness in the room, it was just girls who had a lack of self-worth. I didn’t even stay for the whole thing.
    The next night when I went over to the Mu Eta Mu rush, I ran into Covin.
    He stopped me and said, “So I got your message that you wouldn’t be able to meet with me, but you’re out here on campus alone. You don’t seem busy to me.”
    â€œI’m heading somewhere as we speak.”
    â€œOkay, how about next week? I really need to talk to you,” he insisted.
    â€œIs it gonna take a long time?” I asked.
    â€œI don’t wanna rush what it is I have to say, if that’s what you’re asking.”
    â€œYeah, technically, I guess that is what I’m asking,” I said as I looked over his shoulder and saw the Mu sorors were looking around to see if anyone else was coming. “But I’m headed somewhere now, so I gotta jet.”
    â€œGive a brother a chance, Miss Lady. Call me sometime,” he said as he moved out of my way.
    â€œWe’re closing the doors! We’re closing the doors, and you will be shut out if you’re not in here!” the Mu Eta Mu Vice President shouted out to girls who were trying to come inside.
    The Mus didn’t even speak to anyone as we interested girls all mingled about. This group of gals was the exact opposite of where I had been the night before. They didn’t lack confidence—they were overly confident. Yeah, they had on cute clothes, but all they talked about was how inferior the interested girls were. My thought was if you were all that as a sorority, you don’t need to bash anyone else. This definitely wasn’t me, and, again, I could not stay.
    Two nights later, it was the Beta rush. Teddi and I went, and every girl walking into their dorm room was super-excited. Except me. I wasn’t uninterested, but I wasn’t completely sold either.
    Teddi and I both stopped in our tracks when we saw a very attractive girl arguing with this thug-looking dude. I knew it was none of our business, but he was getting extra-loud with her. She tried to head toward the Betas’ door, and he grabbed her sassy hair.
    â€œEvan, I’m letting you do this sorority thing, but it better pay off for me, and it sure better not take too much of your time,” he told her as he let her go.
    It was dark, and I could not see the girl’s face. But she looked around and seemed so embarrassed. Very weird that she should have been checking ole boy instead of making sure no one saw him be overly aggressive.
    Teddi said, “No, she ain’t kissing that jerk. See, y’all, black women need to stop putting up with crazy behavior just to have a man.”
    The Evan girl went past us, and I was feeling like I should let her know she deserved more. But she didn’t look at me, so I knew she didn’t want my input. Plus, Teddi tugged on my arm because it was time for the Beta rush to begin.
    They were organized, they were inviting, and they talked about how they wanted to make the world better. They complimented us, and they mentioned other leaders.