Read Gazooka for Free Online Page A

Gomer. ‘One of them said that your band had undone a whole century of progressive work by the Sunday School union. And he said, too, that as soon as they could raise the fare to Africa the whole pack of you would be on the boat addressed to the jungle.’
    Uncle Edwin was staring into the further distance and following the movements of a very large man who was clearly an official and wearing the type of multilateral hat worn by Sherlock Holmes, but this hat was in a kind of tweed material and untidier than the hats we have seen on Holmes.
    â€˜Look over there,’ said Edwin. ‘There’s that big auctioneer, Erasmus John the Going Gone, wearing a cloth hat and shaking his gun to show that he’s the starter.’
    â€˜He’s a very cunning boy, that Erasmus John,’ said Milton, ‘and not only at auctions either. I hear he’s got a favourite of his own competing here today.’ Milton jumped forward and frightened the wits out of the abstracted Cynlais by urgently grasping his sleeve. ‘Keep your eye on Erasmus John the Going Gone, Cynlais. Watch that he doesn’t confuse you. Politically and morally that man has for thirty years been master of the false alarm. See that he keeps his auctioneering slogans out of the formula used for starting this race.’
    â€˜ A ll right then. For your sake that’s all. That Moira… Just one look from her and she scoops the heart right out of me, leaving not even the wish to whistle.’ Cynlais straightened his back and gave his head a little shake. ‘But I’ve got it in for that Erasmus John. He was one of the judges at Tregysgod last Monday. He came to see us after the judging, sneering and laughing.’
    â€˜I was there,’ said Milton. ‘I heard him and the things he said were a disgrace for a man who’s supposed to keep an open mind. He said that he would like to lay Cynlais as a wreath on the grave of General Gordon who was speared to death by dervishes in the unlimited phase of our imperial adventure. He also said, that as a Christian, he was arranging to have the final mark won by Cynlais’ band announced direct by muezzin if the Tregysgod council could throw up some sort of rough minaret. You can imagine how all these references foxed Cynlais and the boys and made them feel that they were standing in a chilling draught of contempt and rejection.’
    â€˜Hellish things for draughts, those bits of loose sheeting,’ said Cynlais. He waved his arm in goodbye and made his way towards the ramshackle pavilion where the athletes were to change.
    â€˜Good luck, Cyn,’ we all shouted.
    â€˜ A nd watch that Erasmus John,’ said Milton Nicholas ‘With that length of gun and that style of hat he won’t consider today complete until he’s shot somebody. Somebody from Meadow Prospect for preference who turns out in carnivals in an overtly anti-British costume. So watch out.’
    â€˜I will,’ Cynlais shouted back. He tried to make his voice cheerful but we could see that not even his little spurt of rebellion against the insolence of Erasmus John had given him back anything like his usual vim.
    â€˜That soul balm of Caney’s is wearing off,’ said Uncle Edwin.
    â€˜Caney should have doubled the dose,’ said Gomer, ‘but he said it was a tricky mixture. Misery, said Caney, who is a fair hand with an axiom when he tries, has been our favourite tipple for so long it will take a thousand years of experiment with applied gladness to dispel the flavour.’
    Uncle Edwin was pointing again. His eye had the aptitude of hawks for singling out significant figures in crowds. ‘Isn’t that Caney the Cure over there now, Gomer? He’s waving at you.’
    A man with the hair style of Lloyd George at his bushiest was making his way towards us, holding aloft a stick carved like a totem pole. He had prodded a few voters with this stick to get them out