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penis/vagina intercourse that folks seem to forget that 1. not everyone is straight, and 2. penetration isn’t the end-all for women when it comes to sex.
    There is also something really interesting to me about the different reactions men have to oral sex. There are the guys who love to give it (treat them well) and can’t get enough, guys who will do it as some sort of obligatory rest stop on the way to intercourse, and the guys who are so grossed out by pussy, you have to wonder what went wrong. But what I find particularly interesting about oral is that when it comes to teens and oral sex, it’s always shown as girls who are sucking dick left and right with no reciprocation in sight. This myth is used all the time to highlight how girls are being victimized by the supposedly sexually lax attitude in pop culture.
    The truth? A September 2005 sex survey of young women showed that the give-and-take when it comes to going down is pretty much equal between guys and girls. 16 So there!

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    POP CULTURE GONE WILD
    It’s not exactly news that pop culture is all sex all the time. But it’s not just “sex”—it’s us girls. Pop culture sex is sugar and spice, tits and ass. Sexuality itself seems to be defined as distinctly female in our culture. After all, while billboards and magazine ads may feature a ripped guy from time to time, it’s mostly women who make up what sexy is supposed to be.
    And it’s not just sexy—it’s straight-up sex. Pop culture is becoming increasingly “pornified.” 1 As pornography becomes more culturally acceptable, and the more we’re inundated with sexual messages—most of which are targeted at younger women—the more hardcore these messages become. Yes, I know, sex sells and always has. But do you think that twenty years ago little girls would be taking Playboy pencil
cases to school, or that teen girls would be vying to take their tops off for little more than a moment of “fame”?
    Some feminists argue that this increased acceptance of “raunch culture” 2 by young women is detrimental and a kind of faux empowerment—and they certainly make valid points. After all, selling a commercialized sexuality to women—one that’s overwhelmingly targeted toward getting just the guys off—as a way to be “liberated” is pretty lame.
    But I think that while the fast-growing focus on sexuality certainly has the potential to be dangerous for young women, it’s not necessarily all bad. What is bad is that young women seem to be confronted with too few choices and too many wagging fingers. Do I think that plucking and waxing, stripping and sucking is inherently feminist? Of course not. But that doesn’t mean I think it’s inherently wrong or unfeminist either. We’re all trapped by the limiting version of sexuality that’s put out there—a sexuality that caters almost exclusively to men. And we do the best we can. What irks me is the assumption that any decision young women make is wrong or uninformed.
    Target was recently blasted a for selling padded bras meant for six-year-old girls.

    If we don’t approve of the porn culture that tells us our only value is in our ability to be sexy, we’re prudes. If we accept it and embrace it, we’re sluts. There’s no middle ground to be seen. Sound familiar?
    What it comes down to is that people don’t trust young women. Sure, we make mistakes. I’ve made plenty. But chastising younger women and telling us that we’re making bad decisions isn’t helpful. What’s important is that we try to understand why we’re making the decisions we do and how they’re related to what we see around us. Like, do we really want to flash our boobs (and if so, cool), or are we doing it out of some fucked-up desire to please someone else? Just saying.
    Obviously, a huge part of all this is what is expected of young women sexually—that’s what pop culture is built on in a tremendous way. And unfortunately, that expectation is kind of like a big old